All Time Saturday Night Live Cast

Occasional Jim Jividen writing partner Kirk Hiner as is his wont, put forth the following challenge:


"All time Saturday Night Live cast, 6 men, 5 women, host, musical guest. Go"

My obvious response was "career value or peak"?


I await a response. While I wait, let's start to work through the list.



I've asked another question "am I picking a news anchor and does that news anchor have to be part of the 11 person cast."


I've gotten the answer to the first question - peak value.


Let's start to -- and now I have the second answer - there is a news anchor, but it does have to come from the 11.


Okay. Let's start to narrow things down.



6 men, 5 women.


Aykroyd
Belushi
Chevy
Murray
Eddie
Piscopo
Billy
Chris Guest
Martin Short
Lovitz
Dennis Miller
Carvey
Hartman
Myers
Rock
Farley
Sandler
Spade
Norm
Ferrell
Hammond
Tracy Morgan
Forte
Hader

That's 24. Much as I love Mark McKinney and Chris Elliott, they're not really contenders for their SNL work. If I had to come up with a Top 20 male SNL cast members ever, the list would come out of here. Maybe Tim Meadows would be 25, just to firm that up.


And now I have to cut to 6...let's cut to 12, easier to do.


Drop the current guys, who are talented - the show has no buzz anymore, outside of Sarah Palin no one notices at all, but it's really pretty well crafted. But this is the deep end of the pool. And I really liked Tracy, but it's really 30 Rock where his crazy has been best unsheathed.


Norm and Dennis Miller can't act. If I could have a separate news anchor, they'd make this cut, but I don't so they don't.


Sandler and Spade are famous, but that's my least favorite successful cast.


Rock's a genius, and was better on the show than he gives himself credit for, but his work wasn't at this level.

Piscopo was underrated. He became a joke so that's all he is now, but he's out of time here.


Who's left:

Aykroyd
Belushi
Chevy
Murray
Eddie
Billy
Chris Guest
Martin Short
Lovitz
Carvey
Hartman
Myers
Farley
Ferrell
Hammond

15 left. Chevy and Murray go. Chevy was the first breakout, just a superduperstar and Murray's the most critically acclaimed cast member ever for his film work - but their work on the show lands them just outside the top 10. (edit - Robert Downey's the most critically acclaimed ever for his film work; Christine Ebsersole the most critically acclaimed for her stage work)

13 left.

I'm taking out Billy/Marty/Chris Guest.

Part of this might be a career/peak thing since they weren't on very long; maybe there's a level of depth, of utility, they weren't able to show in just a year; maybe there was an element of polish on the performances that slides them - choices have to be made, I'm leaving them outside the top 10.

4 cuts left.

Hammond. Terrific impressionist, that's all he can do. It's a tremendous skill for a sketch show, particularly one with only 6 men, and I could see an argument that you need him in this cast, but I'm gonna drop him here.

3 cuts left.

Aykroyd
Belushi
Eddie
Lovitz
Carvey
Hartman
Myers
Farley
Ferrell

Lovitz and Farley.
I think, in the aftermath of his death, Farley's become a little overrated. Not a lot overrated in the context of his SNL work - but playing the "everything in the world is either overrated or underrated, which one is Farley" he's overrated.

Lovitz is a tough cut. Maybe his range is a little limited. Maybe.  I'm unhappy with this result.
One more.

Nope. Can't do it. I'm taking 7. I'll take 7 men and 5 women and deal with the fallout.  I have to have all 7.  Have to.  Have to.  Have to.  Dammit!  Why you gotta push me so hard!

Aykroyd
Belushi
Eddie
Carvey
Hartman
Myers
Ferrell

That's the male cast. 7. 7 goddammit. 7 (this is just my inner monologue now, to whatever extent there's anyone reading, just skip to the women - I'm leaving it at 7, 'cause that's just how it has to be, but if I had to, with maybe something I hold dear, like pie, held hostage, I'd have to cut...NO!  I will leave it at 7!  Hah!)



And yeah, I've decided who would go if I had to go to six. I'm keeping it on the DL.


Women:

Jane
Gilda
Julia
Nora
Jan
Molly Shannon
Tina
Amy
Kristen Wiig

Chris Elliott's smoking hot daughter.  Mmmmmm.  I need a moment. 

Admittedly, the last one's just because I enjoy thinking about her. And how painfully old I am. So. Old.  Seriously, that the Guy Under the Stairs has a blistering hot daughter (seriously, where's the secret hotel cam video of Chris Elliott's superhot daughter?) is the oldest I've ever felt.


Julia's an easy cut, I liked her at the time and it seemed to me that within whatever circle of SNL watchers I was part of when I was 13, we all liked her and thought she'd be a star; so that she became Julia isn't really a surprise (like Rock, in a different context) but she doesn't go past here.


Nora was talented and did a nice job. She gets cut here.


2 cuts left.


You have to cut Tina Fey.

All she did was news; now, in light of the Emmy Awards, presumably she could have been used more broadly, but the writing and then the news stretched her thin as it was. Like Al Franken, I'd like to take Tina and put them on the writing staff. If I had the space (and I almost did it, I was like this close to doing it - I was going to just give her the news and get out of the way) I'd let her do the news, but I'm only picking five women. Hard cut. Molly goes next - Molly was all around talented, like the next level up from Nora Dunn - but she goes here.

So, the women:
Jane
Gilda
Jan
Amy
Kristen Wiig



That's 12 and that's where it's gonna stop. I'm inclined to make Jane and Danny the news anchors - ack - I'm changing my mind.

I'm taking Jane down (what? seriously?) and putting Tina Fey back on and giving her the news. Done.

Hard to do. Done!

Tina gets the news. Amy can do it with her when she's not in all of the sketches.

So, the cast:


Dan Aykroyd



John Belushi



Eddie Murphy



Dana Carvey



Phil Hartman



Mike Myers



Will Ferrell



Gilda Radner



Jan Hooks



Tina Fey (news)



Amy Poehler



Kristen Wiig

Host/Musical Guest.

Only a couple I'm considering for host - Steve Martin, Alec Baldwin, Tom Hanks, maybe John Goodman and Chris Walken.


I'll take Steve Martin. And Paul Simon as the musical guest. Done. Task completed!

Now, what Japanese professional wrestlers should be added to the cast? For example, CIMA could do the news....