a jim jividen blog

Here's the thing. I'm watching one of these shows on the Cooking Channel featuring food trucks. There's a Scottish expat making fish and chips; in a thick brogue he somewhat wearily explains his irritation with Americans who habitually order a side of tartar sauce: "tartar sauce is basically gherkins." That's this blog. I claim no particular insight, no revelation. If you enjoy the flavor, great, but this blog is basically gherkins.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

1st and Ten: The Weekly Tendown. June 20-26 2010, NBA Draftdown



Dear Internet:

Are you like me, Internet?

If you're like me, at 11:00 Thursday night you were watching the DVR'd 2010 NBA Draft, taking notes in order to write some version of a humorous draft blog such as I did  with the '82-91 drafts. And when the sixth pick arrived for your lifelong favorite NBA franchise, the Golden St. Warriors, you shouted from your brand new couch at your brand new television:

Take Greg Monroe.  Do not take Udoh.  Do not take Udoh.  Do not take Udoh.  Monroe is a sweet passing big man; he's Andrew Bogut; when we mistakenly sell low on Biedrins at least we'll have Monroe to fall back on.  Udoh is a 23 year old junior.  Do not take Udoh.

The Warriors are about to be sold, for those of you unaware; and it feels sort of like a foreclosure, like Cohan and Nellie are stripping the place of the copper wiring before the bank takes possession. 

If you're like me, that's the joke you wrote at 11:00 Thursday night.

Right after we took Udoh.

Let's get to Tendown 32.  NBA Draftdown!

First:  No One Enjoys Being Booed as Much as David Stern
The New York fans opened the draft by booing David Stern like he was leaving the oil soaked Gulf Coast to go check out some yacht races.  He clearly digs it; Simmons used the Vince McMahon reference in his draft blog, so I'll scratch it from my notes, but I did expect him to follow up his introduction about the draftees coming to the NBA to "compete against the best basketball players" with the coda "and also the Knicks."

Vince got sued this week, incidentally - Owen's widow apparently hasn't been getting residuals for the 30 some odd DVDs in which he's appeared since his death.  Which I'm thinking is it's less oversight than Vince saying something to the effect of - "we're never writing that woman a single check."  'Cause, instead of, you know, coming on RAW the night after WWF negligence killed her husband to shoot a Melanie Pillman angle, she took 18 million from their insurance company in an out of court wrongful death settlement.

Don't vote for Linda, Connecticut.  You'll regret it. 

I don't know what Vince's or Stern's favorability ratings would be - but they'd be higher than BP's.  This week's NBC/Wall St. Journal poll has BP being viewed favorably by 6% of Americans (Joe Barton presumably has apologized for the poll as well) .  The only lower scores in poll history were Saddam Hussein, Fidel Castro, and Yasser Arafat (Udoh has yet be similarly scrutinized). 

Meanwhile, a Republican congressman took the House floor to claim that Obama's securing a 20 billion dollar escrow account from the fourth most unpopular entity in the history of the NBC News poll was just like, wait for it, wait for it...Hitler. 

You know who else is just like Hitler?  Don Nelson.  Don Nelson and Chris Cohan and Larry Riley and the entire Golden St. franchise.  Just like Hitler.  No difference.  Exactly the same.  I'm gonna tea party that GSW ass.

After the jump, the rest of the Tendown.