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The 2017 Royal Rumble is Sunday (Plus, Every Royal Rumble Match of all time Ranked)

Wednesday, January 25, 2017




The Survivor Series preview, with match ratings edited in, is here.

I'm old; I've seen every WWF/E PPV contemporaneously; I have the perspectives and tastes of an old person, albeit one who never lapsed.

Royal Rumble 2017 is Sunday from...San Antonio, that's the answer.

1. The Rumble Match

-22 of the 30 spots are filled as of the time of this writing, here they are.

Goldberg
Lesnar

-We're presumably headed to a Goldberg/Lesnar rematch at Mania, Goldberg squashed him in their first meeting, one assumes Lesnar gets that back at Mania - what makes sense here is they eliminate each other, perhaps with Lesnar coming back into the ring after being eliminated to eliminate Bill.

The New Day

-New Day lost the tag titles to Sheamus/Cesaro and are now treading water as RAW tag babyfaces; could be we see them have to fight each other in the Rumble that maybe leads to a breakup or more likely leads to nothing and they're in a multiple man tag match at Mania.

Jericho

-Jericho's the US Champ, having taken from Reigns; he's a heel in a comedy act with Owens, the RAW Champ. It's a good act, but a comedy act nonetheless and feels more like a midcard thing.  Jericho/Owens at Mania after a breakup makes some sense, were Owens to lose the title earlier in the evening and then get inserted into the Rumble and eliminate Jericho, that could kick that off.

Strowman

-If your idea of a good wrestler to watch is Strowman (it shouldnt be, but I don't know your life; you may have all manner of terrible preferences) you're high on his push, WWE has turned a guy whose only skill is his look into a credible heel.  He's not my pick, but wouldn't be a shock if he won this thing and challenged Reigns at Mania.  I'd say his winning is second most likely.

Corbin

-Corbin is Strowman, but on Smackdown.  The argument for his winning is a weaker version of the same line of thought supporting Strowman - Corbin wins and works Cena, who would have won the Smackdown title earlier in the night, at Mania.  That seems like a less likely result - they could bring in Samoa Joe in that same spot, which would be the ideal outcome for me.  Joe in the AJ/Cena mix, with AJ coming out of Mania as a babyface, makes a lot of sense, but I may be wishcasting.

Undertaker

-My pick to win.  Undertaker/Reigns, with Reigns turning heel, couldn't possibly make more sense.  Were they to not want to do that, and instead do Reigns/Strowman, they could have Undertaker challenge for the Smackdown belt instead, given that they've set him up as not really belonging to either "brand".  Or Owens could keep this Sunday and they could do Undertaker/Owens at Mania. They could also have Strowman eliminate Undertaker and do that match instead.

Ambrose

-The IC champ, feuding with Miz, from whom he took the belt.  I assume this is running until Mania; I'd also assume they do some type of Shield thing here; my preference would be that the Rollins/HHH Mania singles match is scrapped and instead they did a reunited Shield against HHH/Owens/Jericho and they could kick that off here.  HHH as #30 eliminated by Rollins, who runs in having not been in the match, makes sense as a step to continue their feud.

Miz

-Continues Ambrose feud, perhaps eliminating him.

Ziggler

-I like Ziggler's heel turn; he's further down the card now than I'd position him, but he can have good matches with Kalisto and Crews, neither of those guys is officially in the Rumble, but I'd expect one of them and for him to be involved with Ziggler.  Ziggler could be moved into the Miz position to work Ambrose post Mania, Miz might move up to work a babyface AJ. This could also be a Lawler spot where he eliminates Ziggler to make that a Mania match.

Cesaro/Sheamus

-Feuding with Anderson/Gallows, neither guy is announced yet, but one might find his way in.  I'd expect Sheamus and Cesaro to fight here, one eliminating the other.

Wyatt/Orton/Harper

-Harper lost to Orton on Smackdown and they may have turned him; these guys get involved in some combination in this match.  An Orton win, while unsupported given his current place on the card, would not be a shock given his customary role in the promotion.  They could do Orton/Cena at Mania, which is where WWF gravity always pulls.

Show

-I think Show's still supposed to work Shaq at Mania; Show eliminating Strowman makes sense.

Zayn

-My hope was Zayn was going to lose his Rumble spot in the Rollins match Monday and would debut the El Generico character here in his place.  Zayn's been given the doofus bottom card character that at least gives him something to do.

Cass

-Maybe involved with New Day, Cass is a not as good version of Corbin which is not good at all.

Rusev

-Maybe you've noticed, but for Republicans like the McMahons, Russians are pretty big babyfaces now.  I'd expect a Rusev turn, maybe he winds up working Strowman at Mania

Mojo Rawley
-A pretty obvious fast elimination.

That's 22 - if you add HHH, Joe, let's say Crews, let's say Gallows.  That's 26.  A couple of the UK tournament guys would be 28.  And then two random guys (what's Kurt Angle doing this weekend?) and that's the match. To me, it's Undertaker to win and anything else would be a surprise.

(Edit - Orton won in a not particularly good match, lot of guys lying around while Brock or Goldberg or the Undertaker stared at someone)

2. RAW Title: Owens v. Reigns

-This is the new belt, created after the "brand" split.  A Finn Balor injury left the belt vacant, Owens wound up with it after HHH interference against Rollins.  Reigns has been chasing and he catches him Sunday, with Jericho in a cage above the ring.  Match is still No DQ which raises possibility of outside interference (like say from HHH, and then say from Rollins, if they wanted to do that encounter here and not the Rumble match).  Any result other than Reigns winning here would be surprising, were that to be the result though I think it's probably a Strowman thing and they're setting up Strowman/Reigns at Mania which aids in getting Reigns cheered.

(Edit - Owens kept in a 4 star match, a really strong brawl, Strowman part of the finish)

3. Smackdown Title: Styles v. Cena 

-It's the lineal WWF Title, AJ took from Ambrose in September; AJ's been terrific and his program with Cena has been strong.  Cena's no longer a full timer, they do want to get him past that 16 Flair championship reigns they designate for him, so two need to come.  He wins here and maybe loses in the chamber in February and tries to get the record at Mania.  Maybe AJ wins the Rumble.  Maybe Joe enters after this match and beats both men down, then Joe takes in February, and this becomes a 3 way at Mania.  Maybe I should stop assuming Joe is getting injected into this program.

Rumble is always good even when it's not - it's a foolproof gimmick.  Owens/Reigns will not be a bad match; Styles/Cena will almost certainly be a good match.  You don't hate the top of this card.

(Edit - Cena took in a 4 1/4 star match, very similar in quality to their Summer Slam match the year before)

4. Cruiser Title: Neville v. Swann

-WWF had a tremendous year 2016 in terms of in ring product, that cruiser title had some really terrific work.  That turned into a mediocre cruiser division, the champion of which is Swann, who is a solid worker.  He's gonna lose the belt to Neville, a great wrestler whose heel turn has given him new life in the promotion.  This match will be too short and it will be good.

(Good, 3 1/2 stars, Neville took the belt)

5. RAW Women's Title: Charlotte v. Bayley

-Charlotte and Sasha have been trading this title back and forth for almost a year, lovable underdog Bayley is now in the mix. At some point she wins the belt, that's probably at Mania and she gets screwed here.  It'll be okay, Charlotte's okay - Bayley has not shown much on the main roster yet, but had some good matches at the end of her NXT run.

(Edit - good enough, 3 stars, Charlotte kept)

6. Becky/Nikki/Naomi v. Alexa/Natty/Mickie James

-On the Smackdown side is this multiple person women's match, Mickie James is back in the promotion.  Alexa's got the Smackdown women's title and presumably something here sets up whatever they'll do with that.

(moved match to pre-show)

Pre Show
-RAW Tag Titles: Cesaro/Sheamus v. Anderson/Gallows
-Sasha v. Nia Jax

It's a buy; there isn't a match you have to see, but it should be a good show.

Here's every match in Rumble history ranked.

Times are approximate, star ratings are for the 3 and up matches.  Apologies if I missed anything.

     1.         '03 WWF Title: Kurt Angle d. Chris Benoit 20 min 5
   2     '15 WWF Title: Brock Lesnar d. Seth Rollins/John Cena 23 min 4 1/2
   3.       ’00 WWF Title HHH d. Cactus Jack 27 min 4 ¼
   4  ’01 IC Ladder: Chris Jericho d. Chris Benoit 19 min 4 ¼
   5. '16 IC Falls Count Anywhere: Dean Ambrose d. Kevin Owens 21:30 4 1/4 
   6  ’04 Rumble Match: (Chris Benoit) 61:30 4
   7 ’92 WWF Title: Rumble Match (Ric Flair) 62 min 4
   8 '14 Bray Wyatt d. Daniel Bryan 22 min 4
   9 ’91 Rockers d. Orient Express 19 min 4
   10 ’95 WWF Title: Diesel draw Bret Hart 27 min 4
   
 ’ 11. '10 Rumble Match (Edge) 49:30 3 ¾
       12.  ’00 Tables Hardys d. Dudleys 10:30 3 ¾
   13.  ’94 Tags: Quebecers d. Bret/Owen 16:30 3 ¾
   14. ’04 WWF Title: HHH draw HBK 22:30 3 ¾
   15   '11 World: Edge d. Dolph Ziggler 20:30 3 ½  
   16  ’02 WWF Title: Chris Jericho d. Rock 19 min 3 1/2 
   17 ’98 WWF Title: Casket Match: Shawn Michaels d. Undertaker 22 min 3 ½
   18 ’07 WWF Title: Last Man Standing: John Cena d. Umaga 22:30 3 ½
   19 ’99 WWF Title: I Quit Match: Rock d. Mankind 22 min 3 ½
   20 ’93 WWF Title: Bret Hart d. Razor Ramon 18 min 3 ½
   21 ’11 Rumble Match (Alberto del Rio) 69 min 3 1/2 
   22 ’90 Rumble Match (Hulk Hogan) 59 min 3 ½
   23 ’97 Rumble Match(Steve Austin) 50:30 3 ½

   24 ’01 WWF Title: Kurt Angle d. HHH 24:30 3 ¼
   25 ’13 WWF Title: Rock d. CM Punk 23:30 3 ¼  
   26 ’93 IC Shawn Michaels d. Marty Jannetty 14:30 3 ¼
   27 ’05 Edge d. Shawn Michaels 18:30 3 ¼
   28 ’09 WWF Title: Edge d. Jeff Hardy 19:30 3 ¼
   29  '16 WWF Title Rumble Match (HHH) 61:30 3 1/4
   30 ’12 Rumble Match (Sheamus) 55 min 3 ¼
   31 ’05 Rumble Match (Batista) 51:30 3 ¼
   32 ’03 Rumble Match(Brock Lesnar) 53:30 3 ¼
   33 ’00 Rumble Match(Rock) 52 min 3 ¼
   34 ’01 Rumble Match(Steve Austin) 62 min 3 ¼
   35 ’06 Rumble Match (Rey Mysterio) 62 min 3 ¼
   36 ’07 Rumble Match (Undertaker) 56:30 3 ¼     
   37 ’89 Rumble Match(John Studd) 64 min 3 ¼
   38 ’98 Rumble Match (Steve Austin) 55:30 3 ¼
   39 ’08 Rumble Match (John Cena) 51:30 3 ¼
   40 '14 WWF Title: Randy Orton d. John Cena 21 min 3 1/4 
   41 ’10 World: Undertaker d. Rey Mysterio 11 min 3 ¼
   42 ’11 WWF: Miz d. Randy Orton 20 min 3 ¼  
   43 ’05 World: HHH d. Randy Orton 21:30 3 ¼
   44 ’07 Hardys d. MNM 15:30 3 ¼

   45 ’12 WWF Title: CM Punk d. Dolph Ziggler 14 min 3
   46 ’01 Tags: Dudleys d. Edge/Christian 10 min 3
   47 ’08 WWF Title: Randy Orton d. Jeff Hardy 14 min 3
   48 ’92 Owen/Anvil d. Orient Express 17 min 3
   49 ’95 Tags: Bob Holly/123 Kid d. Tatanka/Bam Bam Bigelow 15:30 3
   50 ’02 Rumble Match(HHH) 69:30 3
   51 ’94 Rumble Match: (Bret/Lex) 55 min 3
   52 ’93 Rumble Match: (Yokozuna) 66:30 3
   53 ’91 Rumble Match (Hulk Hogan) 65 min 3
   54 ’96 Rumble Match(Shawn Michaels) 59 min 3
   55 ’99 Rumble Match (Vince McMahon) 56:30 3
   56 ’95 Rumble Match (Shawn Michaels) 39 min 3
   57 ’09 Rumble Match (Randy Orton) 58:30 3
   58 '14 Rumble Match (Batista) 55 min 3
   59 ’13 Rumble Match (John Cena) 55 min 3
   60 '15 Rumble Match (Reigns) 59 min 3
   61 ’88 Rumble Match (Jim Duggan) 33:30 3 
   62 ’02 IC: William Regal d. Edge 10 min 3
   63 ’04 Eddy Guerrero d. Chavo Guerrero 8 min 3
   64 ’13 World: Last Man Standing: Alberto del Rio d. Big Show 17 min 3
   65 ’09 ECW: Jack Swagger d. Matt Hardy 10:30 3
   66 ’96 Tags: Smoking Gunns d. Bodydonnas 11 min 3
   67 ’03 Tags: Dudleys d. Regal/Storm 7:30 3
   68 '16 US: Kalisto d. Del Rio 11:30 3
   69 ’97 WWF Title: Shawn Michaels d. Sid 14 min 3
   70 ’89 Haku d. Harley Race 9 min 3
   71 ’97 IC: HHH d. Goldust 17 min 3
   
   72 ’06 Jr.: Gregory Helms d. Kash, Funaki, Noble, Nunzio, London 7:30
   73 ’88 Jumping Bomb Angels d. Glamour Girls 14 min
   74 ’89 Hart Foundation/Duggan d. Dino Bravo/Rougeaus 16 min
   75 ’96 WWF Title: Undertaker d. Bret Hart 29 min
   76 ’08 World: Edge d. Rey Mysterio 12:30
   77 ’88 Ricky Steamboat d. Rick Rude 17 min
   78 ’00 Taz d. Kurt Angle 3 min
   79 ’02 Ric Flair d. Vince McMahon 15 min
   80 ’98 IC Rock d. Shamrock 11 min
   81 ’05 WWF Title: JBL d. Big Show/Kurt Angle 12 min
   82 ’06 WWF Title: John Cena d. Edge 14
   83 ’97 Vader d. Undertaker 13 min
   84 ’13 Tags: Hell No d. Rhodes Scholars 9:30 
   85 ’93 Steiners d. Beverlys 10:30 
   86 ’07 World: Batista d. Ken Kennedy 10:30
   87 ’90 Ronny Garvin d. Greg Valentine 17 min
   88 '16 Women: Charlotte d. Becky 11:30
   89 ’10 ECW: Christian d. Ezekial Jackson 12 min
   90 ’88 Islanders d. Young Stallions 14 min
   91 ’02 Tags: Taz/Spike Dudley d. Dudleys 5 min
   92  '16 Tags: New Day d. Usos 11 min
   93 ’12 World: Cage: Daniel Bryan d. Big Show/Mark Henry
   94 ’00 IC: Chris Jericho d. Chyna d. Bob Holly 7:30
   95 ’08 JBL d. Chris Jericho 9:30
   96 ’10 US: Miz d. MVP 7:30 
   97 ’97 Garza/Aguayo/Canek d. Estrada/Metal/.Guerrera 11 min
   98 ’04 WWF Title: Brock Lesnar d. Bob Holly 6:30
   99 '15 Tags: Usos d. Miz/Mizdow 9:30
   100 ’03 Brock Lesnar d. Big Show 6 min

   101 Euro: '99 Sean Waltman d. Gangrel 6 min
   102 ’98 Vader d. Goldust 8 min
   103 ’95 IC Jeff Jarrett d. Razor Ramon 18 min
   104 ’99 IC: Ken Shamrock d. Billy Gunn 14:30
   105 ’04 Jr. Rey Mysterio d. Jamie Noble 3:30
   106  ’91 Boss Man d. Barbarian 14 min
   107 '14 Brock Lesnar d. Big Show 2 min
   108’92 IC: Roddy Piper d. Mountie 5:30
   109 ’08 Ric Flair d. MVP 8 min
   110 ’98 Mini/Mosaic/Nova d. Battalion/Torito/Tarantula 8 min
   111 ’97 Ahmed Johnson d. Farooq 9 min
   112 ’96 Ahmed Johnson d. Jeff Jarrett 6:30
   113 ’10 WWF: Sheamus d. Randy Orton 12:30
   114 ’07 ECW: Bobby Lashley d. Test 7:30
   115 ’04 Tags: Evolution d. Dudleys 4:30
   116 ’03 World Title: Scott Steiner d. HHH 18:30
   117 ’09 World John Cena d. JBL 15:30
   118 ’99 Boss Man d. Road Dogg 12 min
   119 ’90 Hacksaw Duggan d. Big Boss Man 10:30
   120  ’91 Ted DiBiase/Virgil d. Dusty/Dustin 10 min
   121 ’00 Tags: New Age Outlaws d. Acolytes 2:30
   122 ’94 Tatanka d. Bam Bam Bigelow 8
   123  ’94 IC: Razor Ramon d. IRS 11:30
   124 ’96 IC: Goldust d. Razor 14:30
   125 ’89 Rockin Robin d. Judy Martin 6:30

   126 ’11 Women: Eve d. Natalya/Layla/Michelle McCool 5 min
   127 '15 Bellas d. Page/Natty 8 min
   128 ’12 Bellas/Beth/Natalya d. Kelly/Eve/Alicia/Tamina 5:30
   129 ’02 Women: Trish d. Jazz 4 min
   130 ’09 Women: Melina d. Beth Phoenix 6:30
   131 ’92 Tags: Natural Disasters d. LOD 9:30
   132 ’98 Tags: LOD d. New Age Outlaws 8 min
   133 ’91 Mountie d. Koko 9
   134 ’05 Casket: Undertaker d. Heidenreich 13:30
   135 ’91 WWF Title: Sgt. Slaughter d. Ultimate Warrior 12:30
   136 ’06 World: Kurt Angle d. Mark Henry 9:30
   137  ’93 Bam Bam Bigelow d. Big Boss Man 10 min
   138 ’95 Undertaker d. IRS 12:30
   139 '15 Ascension d. New Age Outlaws 5:30
   140 ’01 Women: Ivory d. Chyna 3:30
   141 ’99 Women: Sable d. Luna 4:30
   142 ’12 Brodus Clay d. Drew McIntyre 1 min
   143  ’06 Boogeyman d. JBL 2 min
   144  ’90 Bushwackers d. Rougeaus 13:30
   145 ’12 John Cena draw Kane 11
   146  ’90 Brutus Beefcake draw Lanny Poffo 11 min
   147  ’92 Beverlys d. Bushwackers 15 min
   148  ’10 Women: Mickie James d. Michelle McCool :30
   149 ’03 Torrie Wilson d. Dawn Marie 3:30
   150 ’06 Women: Mickey James d. Ashley 7:30
    
     151    '94 WWF Title: Yokozuna d. Undertaker 14:30




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