I Watch Every NBA Slam Dunk Contest, 2010-2013

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Part 4 of a series.  Part 3 is here.

Judges are wearing matching sweater vests.  Could Mark Aguirre_be_giving out any more 10s?

Spud Webb didn’t get one, perhaps they don’t come in ladies sizes, am I right?

Only 4 compete, pretty low wattage dunk contest; DeRozan gets a 42, Shannon Brown a 37, Gerald Wallace was a Bobcat back in 2010; Reggie Miller rips the dunk attempts so far and rightly so.  Little Nate’s the 4th competitor and does small guy stuff.

Nate and DeRozan advance after their second dunks, easily so (Derozan’s was better).  This was the “use a teammate” dunk, popularized after the Patriots were introduced as an entire team instead of individually for that one Super Bowl so we keep looking to shoehorn teamwork into every corner of our sports experience.

Fan voting for the winner starts before the finals, adding to the credibility.  Derozan goes over a teammate in the final round, missed live by the cameras because there are so many other things to shoot during a dunk contest.  Derozan easily the best dunker of a bad night. 

Nate becomes the three time champ, the fans had the entirety of the final vote – maybe Nate had a better final round; this was, I think, the worst dunk contest ever.

The announce table is covered in chili dogs. 

The judges all look miserable.  

The participants have coaches, DeRozan’s is Daryl Dawkins who says the first dunk is East Bay Funk Remix.  DeRozan goes under the backboard and through the legs, better than any dunk the year before. 

Barkley says DeRozan has a great body and then invites Dwight Howard to come to his house and watch videos.  Get in that van!

Ibaka hits the foul line dunk, that’s a lot of size for that dunk. Ibaka gets a toe on the line but that’s further back than recent foul line dunks – really solid effort. 

CWebb is Javale McGee’s coach and calls out Howard wrestling promo style.  Howard was not in on the gag.  McGee tries to go off the backboard and dunk two balls in two different baskets, misses, then misses without the bounce, but then converts.  Solid.  DeRozan’s is still the best, but all three of these dunks were worth watching and the dunk contest is back! (Magic Johnson flashback).

Here’s Blake.
He misses a 360.  Kenny Smith is his hype man and the building energy really builds for Griffin’s 360.  Not as good as DeRozan’s dunk, but every dunk in this round really strong.  Kevin Harlan says it’s the best first round ever. 

DeRozan’s second dunk is better than his first, bounces the ball, does a one handed up and under as he goes under the rim.  

There’s a kid and a prop, a toy stuck in the net which Ibaka pulls down with his teeth – really tremendous.  

This is a helluva contest.

Griffin shows a lot of power in his second dunk, not as good as several of the prior dunks even though he goes to the final.

McGee dunks three balls on his second dunk, he takes DeRozan’s final slot – I gotta say, the two guys who didn’t make the finals were a little better than the two who did.

Griffin stuffs his whole arm through the basket, another really solid dunk in a night of solid dunks.

McGee is under the backboard while doing an up and under – a better dunk than Griffin’s. 

Then the car dunk.  The choir.  The R Kelly song.

Griffin jumps over the car and you’ve got to give it to him.

I’ll say 1. BG car 2. DD second dunk 3. JM first finals 4. DD first round 5. SI the toy with the teeth, that’s not just for this year, that’s both years together – a great dunk contest.

The judges are gone, Kenny Smith now emcees the entire competition and interviews Diddy to start the show courtside.  Diddy’s starting a new network.  How’s that working out? It gets us to Chase Budinger jumping over Diddy in a strong opener for the night.

Great Toss by Diddy according to Reggie Miller, who then walks to Brooklyn to get him some cheesecake.

Jeremy Evans has a camera on his ear, Shaq calls him Jerome. Send it in Jeremy!

Paul George jumps over two teammates, including Roy Hibbert.  Derrick Williams enters on the back of a motorcycle driven by a mascot, then jumps over the bike.  All okay dunks here in round one.  A tweet by Diddy is shown on the screen as we step forward technologically.  Budinger, by a small margin, remains the best dunker after his second dunk.  There’s something called a dunk intensity meter being used tonight, which has all the gravitas of the truth booth from MTVs Are You the One.

Evans has the best dunk of the night – catching two balls thrown to him by someone in a chair he was leaping over.  That’s a clear step up in quality.  Paul George does a dunk in the dark.  Guess what’s wrong with that. 

Williams does a 180, taking the ball from a side of the backboard pass by Rubio.  That’s the second best dunk.

Chris Paul’s tweet uses a hashtag.

Budinger does the Ceballos blindfold dunk, if you ask him how many fingers you’re holding up, he’d be able to tell you. 

Now we all pretend that Kevin Hart is funny.

Evans jumps over Hart, putting his hand behind his head as he does. 

These are tribute dunks, apparently.  George’s tribute is to Larry Bird, which doesn’t require much elevation.  He tries to put a Bird sticker on the backboard, he does, but misses the dunk – eventually getting it but after already using two stickers.

So, fans here voting for any of the four dunkers – the winner is Evans, who deserved it, I guess, with the best dunk of the night. Shaq says when he was young he wanted to see Jordan vs Dominique vs. Terrance Stansbury- and that’s his argument for whey we need superstars in the dunk contest.

Kenny’s back with the announcers, there are judges again, including noted dunker Rudy T. 

I see, they’re Rockets.  Yao, Dikembe, Hakeem – a bunch of centers and Clyde. 

Gerald Green, a great 21st century dunker, is back, he dips the ball after catching it from the side of the backboard for a solid start.

Someone names James White has brought out fake stewardesses (clearly appreciated courtside by Latifah) for a foul line dunk. He’s a foot across the line, but uses two hands to hold the ball, which is a good touch.  

This year, the dunkers are separated into conferences.

Terrence Ross does a great behind the back, Vince Carter like dunk. 

Faried and Bledsoe hit fairly pedestrian dunks.  Shaq really complaining about missed attempts, most of them edited out.  Jeremy Evans leaps over a seated Mark Eaton, it was nice.  Ross is the solid standout.

Green cuts down the nets to celebrate his victory in the Western subregional, but then misses a bunch of dunks.

Ross continues his VC tribute act; not as athletic, but all clean.

Faried goes through the legs, it’s the new second best dunk. Bledsoe does a really strong little man dunk. 

Evans and Ross advance to the finals, which is the best result.

Evans jumps over a picture of himself, which is fun.

The announcers finally recognize Ross is doing a VC tribute when he puts on a VC jersey for the new second best dunk.  Ross 1, Ross Finals 1.  Evans hits the new second best dunk of the night with his final dunk.  Ross finishes strong, leaping over a kid.

Ross deserves it, that was a strong night for him, but Evans had a really good finals. 

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