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Here's the thing. I'm watching one of these shows on the Cooking Channel featuring food trucks. There's a Scottish expat making fish and chips; in a thick brogue he somewhat wearily explains his irritation with Americans who habitually order a side of tartar sauce: "tartar sauce is basically gherkins." That's this blog. I claim no particular insight, no revelation. If you enjoy the flavor, great, but this blog is basically gherkins.

The Weekly Tendown January 1-7 2012 (aka: The Sexual Realm License)

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Dear Internet:



Would you like to win twelve dollars and fifty cents?

Let me ask this another way, who is going to be the Republican nominee?  Romney, right?  It's not going to be Santorum, and everyone else died in Iowa this week.  It's over.

Currently, you can invest in Romney at -400 to be the Republican nominee, meaning, were you to invest fifty bucks, you'd win twelve dollars and fifty cents.  Invest a a hundred - win twenty five.  Not a bad return considering the only circumstance (right?) where Romney isn't the nominee is scandal.  Sure, it's not as good as my advice that you take the Texans and give the three this weekend, but I am handing you twelve dollars and fifty cents.

It's Tendown 109.  108 is here.

1. Temporary Instructor: Couponing


As you may know, currently, I do not have a full time job.  This is a new circumstance.

I have 4 part time jobs; right now, I have adjunct contracts with 4 schools for a total of 9 courses (6 in the classroom, 3 online).  You'd like to think that teaching 9 college courses at a time would pay one's bills, but that's an elitist 20th century entitlement mentality.

So, I've been searching for full time positions.  That necessitated my doing a 24 hour legal research and writing project this weekend and has meant looking for high school jobs.

That's a real job ad for a middle school in south Florida.  There are going to be some awfully savvy 12 year olds at the Boca Raton Publix crowded around the buy one get one free Graeter's Mint Chocolate Chip come field trip Thursday.

Discretion has led to my painstakingly avoiding criticizing my primary employer in this space; even though the part time, benefit-free schedule that I'll be working this quarter is the same courseload that was considered a full time schedule just a year ago, even though my rate per course will actually be a tiny bit less than the rate at which I was initially hired in January, 2004, and even though the net income for the publicly traded company of which my school is a part:

NET INCOME (USD)
69,731,000

..was that, last year.

So, one could see how dumping my health insurance would be high on their priorities.  

2. This is Probably a Good Decision
 
The Mavericks visit the White House tomorrow.  They'll be doing it without Delonte West, who didn't get security clearance.  It's unclear if that's for being bipolar, possibly banging Lebron's mother or perhaps not being able to get an apartment in Dallas.  Champions who failed the White House security clearance would be a good Jeopardy category.  

3. Superclutch Tim Tebow - With the Season on the Line:
A win at home against the crappy Chiefs and Tim Tebow leads Denver to the playoffs.

He was 6-22 for 60 yards, a pick and his fifth straight week losing a fumble.  

He still had a better week than crazyass Michele Bachmann, who cratered in Iowa and dropped out of the race, but not before this ad comparing her ability to survive the criticism of her (motivated by jealousy and a dislike of Christians, don't you know) to that of, wait for it, Tim Tebow.

4. Having Fun With Santorum
Bachmann leaving the race essentially makes her culturally irrelevant at least until she gets a job with Fox (By the 1 Percent, For the One Percent) News.  But we can still talk about Rick Santorum, at least for another week.

He thinks Griswold v. Connecticut was incorrectly decided.  Another small government right winger, Santorum thinks government should be able to ban birth control.  Why?  

      "It’s a license to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be.”


And if there's anyone who should be talking about bursting through the sexual realm, its Rick Santorum.

He thinks universal health care systems are destroying most of the world.  Despite my 9 courses, there's a better than 50% likelihood that I can't make the Cobra payment next month that, since I no longer have access to employer based health insurance, is the "affordable" access route to health care for both myself and the woman with whom I live.  Not only is Santorum cool with that, he derisively talks about the idea of health care as human right:

We have to have something for everybody! We can’t have people having access to better health insurance than other people. No! It all has to be the same! Is that American? Equality of result? Is that what built the greatest country in the history of the world? No. That’s what’s destroying most of the countries in the world.


He doesn't want to make black people's lives better with taxpayers money.  The "tea party" anger over health care reform reminded me of that Bob Roberts lyric, "some people will work, others simply will not, but they'll complain and complain and complain" - it's really standard right wing dog whistle, don't look up the economic ladder (our corporate betters are too high up to see anyway, don't bother) look down and kick the guy you see.  Particularly if its a black guy.  So while the left looks at the US health care system and says "while Americans go without coverage we're lining the pockets of insurance executives" the right says "why should you pay more in taxes for some poor black guy to go to the doctor."  And not long after that, allowing insurance companies to run our health care system becomes "freedom" the opposite of which is "communism" or "Hitler" and eventually Jesus gets invoked as hating the minimum wage.

They're not adults.

5. Stop it, Keith.


If you've followed Keith Olbermann from town to town, up and down the dial, you recognize the signs.

This week, it started to happen again.

Keith, stop.  There's nowhere left to go.  I mean, I'll listen to your co-hosting Citizens Radio with Allison and Jamie, but I don't see a landing spot where you can keep the remainder of your audience.

I'm not commenting on the merits of the dispute; I think I'd probably concur with almost every complaint at every stop.  I'm not even commenting on the idea of fighting with an employer; I've fought with plenty of employers and I felt better about myself when doing it than my most recent posture which was to stay out of the way and hope they don't notice I'm still on the books.  If I had real money, no one would be able to tell me anything.

I just want you on my TV.  I look forward to it every day.

So, stop.  Thanks.

6. Occupy Tampa
How long can you be put in jail for going to an Occupy protest?

How about 4 months?

7. Public Employee Domestic Partner Benefit Restriction Act
In Michigan, government workers can get all sorts of people on their employer provided health insurance.  Their uncles.  Cousins.  Gramps.

But by law, not domestic partners. 

8. Don't Let them Refuse to Sell You Emergency Contraception
 If you're an adult, you can get emergency contraception from a pharmacy without a prescription.

Unless you're a man in Texas, then screw you.

9. The Best Professional Wrestling Match of 2011
I closed the book on the 2011 year in wrestling with a ranking of the best matches of the year.

It's been awhile since I listed the 4 star matches I watched during the week, I'd like to do better this year and have a wrestling component to each week's Tendown.  Here are the 4 star matches I've seen since my last mention:


NJ Oct Richards/Romero v. Devitt/Taguchi4
Noah Sept Go v Takayama 4 ½
Noah Sept Kotaro v. Nakajima 4 ¾
NJ – Sept Tanahashi v. Nakamura 4 ¼
Noah Oct Suguira v Morishima 4
Noah Oct Kenta/Kanemaru v. Sugiura/Aoki  4
Noah Oct Kenta/Kanemaru v Kotaro/Aoki 4 ½
PWG Sept Bucks v. Ryan/Sky 4
PWG Sept Richards v. Steen 4 ¼
ROH Sept Edwards v. Strong 4 ½
ROH Sept Briscoes v. All Night 4 ¼  
PWG Bucks v. Cole/O’Reilly Oct 4 ½
PWG Steen v Generico Oct 4 ½
NOAH Oct Kenta v Sugiura 4 ½
Oct AJ – Omega v. Kai 4 ¼
Oct KenOff – Nakajima Kudo v Kanemoto Hayato 4
Oct NJ – Tanahashi v. Naito 4 ½
Oct AJ – Akiyama d. Suwama 4 ¾
Dec 2010 – Guns d. Wolves 4 Squared Circle Wrestling
Suguira v. Marufuji (NOAH-Nov) 4
Kanemaru v Kotaro (NOAH-Nov) 4
Kenta v Go (NOAH – Nov) 4 ¼
Fujita Jr Hayato v Nakajima 4 (KOff-Nov)

We've also got an early contender for best free TV match of 2012, Richards v. O'Reilly from last nights ROH TV was 3 3/4 stars.


10. 30 Years Ago This Tuesday

That's all for this time.  I'll be back next time, if there is a next time...

Your pal,

Jim

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