Wrestlemania 35 is from New Jersey, although they'd rather you think it was New York. And it will be good. And awful. There are like two dozen matches and it's a month and a half long. You'll get what you want and you won't. It's wrestling. Kinda. It's WWE, which, as Vince has always said, isn't really wrestling and I'm inclined to believe him.
Raw/Smackdown Women's Championship
RAW Women's Champion Ronda Rousey vs. Becky Lynch vs. SmackDown Women's Champion Charlotte Flair
Rousey's the biggest mainstream full time act in the promotion; Lynch is probably the most over full time act in the promotion; they've been headed toward each other for months in a way that's been more effective than not. Rousey has been able to translate a shoot level of intensity into her ring work; the "I'm not one of your carny acts" thing can be taken too far, but it's the right lane. Pretending Alexa Bliss has the ability to get offense on her was never a good approach. Becky's been able to leverage steam gained from hardway blood into a Lady Stone Cold gimmick. Add Twitter; add a real desire by a healthy % of the fanbase to see good things happen for a cohort within the women's roster; add the WWE promotional machine somehow able to work mainstream media into believing they are on the right side of the cultural moment we're in that really values diversity - and what you've got is a women's match main evening at Wrestlemania.
And Charlotte's here too.
Ronda's got the RAW belt; Charlotte's got the Smackdown belt; Ronda's maybe leaving or at least unlikely to work her current schedule going forward. It will be given every possible chance to be a very good match that Lynch absolutely should win.
(Edit, 3 stars, it was a decent match that Lynch won with a disputed finish, the obvious conclusion to a 7 and a half hour show)
Universal Championship
Brock Lesnar (c) vs. Seth Rollins
Brock's the man; he's held what is the dominant belt in the company hundreds of days longer than every other Universal Champion combined. Rollins won the Rumble - this program falls in the line of the other "there's a good worker coming at Brock" challenges (Bryan, Balor) Brock wins these matches, they're short and good. Brock, the absent Universal Champion is stale, taking the belt off of him makes sense, it seems unlikely that Rollins is considered the guy to do that, but the direction of the story sure strongly suggests that there's a title switch here.
(there was a title switch here in a relatively inconsequential and brief fashion)
WWE Championship
Daniel Bryan (c) vs. Kofi Kingston
Bryan's lefty heel thing is a little broad for me, but it's worked, he was the most over babyface in the promotion and now the crowd wants B+ player Kingston to take his belt. The Kingston underdog push has been well done (it's not working on me; I can't stomach another "the authority is keeping fan favorite Y down" angle, but the fans are into it) they've taken a guy who has never been slotted at the top of the card and made him almost certain to win the lineal WWF Title at Wrestlemania. Kofi's just a guy, he wouldn't be my choice for this spot, but he's not bad, and this will be a good match.
(4 stars - there were 4 Takeover matches better two nights before, but this was easily, easily, easily the best match at Mania and they did do the switch)
No Holds Barred
Triple H vs. Batista
This one isn't for me; I didn't care about Batista when he could have passable matches, now, as a long since retired actor - working against a past his sell-by-date HHH, there's just nothing here I want to watch even a little bit. They've added the garbage element which makes sense and will throw all the gimmicks they can here to make this a watchable brawl. And it might be that. It also might be an overwrought 22 minutes of face making and nearfalls. There's a retirement stip for HHH - so I'm rooting for Batista, but that seems like an unlikely result.
(I was wrong. It was actually an overwrought 24 minutes. Hunter lives to waste our time another day)
Kurt Angle's Retirement Match
Kurt Angle vs. Baron Corbin
Kurt's done; the tank is empty, if this match is longer than two minutes with him going over it's a mistake. I don't hate Baron Corbin but there are 50 better workers in this promotion (100? it's a lot, I'm not going to count, but it's probably 100) and the amount of real estate they give this guy on their flagship program is bizarre.
(they put Corbin over in 4 minutes)
Drew McIntyre vs. Roman Reigns
Reigns has just returned after treatment for leukemia; McIntyre is a monster heel, this should be fine with Reigns going over.
(it didn't quite hit the level of fine, Reigns did go over)
Shane McMahon vs. The Miz
This one really, really, really isn't for me - red faced, middle aged Shane cosplaying as a wrestler is a hard watch, and I'm on the low end of the "Miz is kinda good now, right?" spectrum. Shane's the heel; Miz the face. I assume Miz wins and we see Shane do this again next year with someone else.
(this one really wasn't for me, Shane went over)
AJ Styles vs. Randy Orton
There's not much to this; AJ is a babyface not currently in the title picture - Orton's a heel not currently in the title picture. They're doing an insider/outsider program that mines territory they've (understandably, given the composition of the roster) gone to a lot over the past decade. AJ wrestled in bingo halls, something, something, Colt Cabana. It'll be fine; Orton can't do more than that. Let's say AJ goes over, as I assume his future with the promotion is more important than Orton's.
(3 stars, it was fine, Orton can't do more than that. AJ went over)
WWE Women's Tag team Championship
Bayley &Sasha Banks (c) vs. Natalya & Beth Phoenix vs. Nia Jax & Tamina Snuka vs. The IIconics
They added tag belts for the women - Bayley and Sasha are fine, Natty's okay, Beth retired years ago and everyone else in the match is awful. The promotion does have some good women's wrestlers but there are not enough of them on the main roster to make a match like this passable.
(as bad as expected)
United States Championship
Samoa Joe (c) vs. Rey Mysterio
I assume this get 8 minutes and just irritates everyone - Rey looks great for his age, his legs are spry, everything he's in is good. Joe understands the limitations imposed by his age and is still just excellent within those confines. They're doing a thing with Rey's kid Dominic that makes some sense to throw in the mix here for a screwy finish that results in Joe's keeping the belt. Rey lost to Corbin clean on Monday, which is a great way to build some steam. This program is tossed together, I assume this match starts something as opposed to ends it. Given the go home booking, there is a chance something happens with this match.
(they didn't really do this, Joe beat him in less than a minute)
Intercontinental Championship
Bobby Lashley (c) vs. Finn Balor
Lashley looks great and was pretty good over in TNA, but I don't think he's ever had a really good WWE singles match in either run. I don't know Balor's contractual situation, but in a previous live I'd write a "here are the X number of guys I'd like to see jump to All-Elite or go to NXT where they give you a stream of 4 1/2 star matches" and he'd be there (despite the massive harm it would do to The Counterfactual)...okay...in no particular order...
Cesaro
Balor
Gable
Zayn
Crews
Kalisto
Harper
Metallik
Tozawa
Nakamura
I'm gonna stop now, but you get it.
...the WWE main roster style just doesn't allow many good matches, aside from the top of the card (and even then). I'd like this to be one of them, but that's really optimistic. They're going to have Balor in his Demon gimmick, which one assumes means he wins unless he is leaving the territory.
(Balor did win in a 4 minute match)
Smackdown Tag Titles: The Usos (Jey Uso and Jimmy Uso) (c) vs. Ricochet and Aleister Black vs. The Bar (Cesaro and Sheamus) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura and Rusev
-Ton of talent in this match; it smells like a short, TV style match designed to get them on the card as opposed to give them time worthy of their ability.
(short TV style match, Usos kept)
The other matches, plus an added RAW tag title match, were all on the pre-show, there's nothing you'd need to see.
Cruiserweight Championship
Buddy Murphy (c) vs. Tony Nese
-Murphy's on a terrific run of 4 star matches; they've given him one of their lesser juniors to beat here. Make this Murphy against Alexander and put it on the pre-show and it's really likely the best match of the night.
Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
WrestleMania Women's Battle Royal
-If you're asking "hey, where's X?" - probably here.
As of right now, these last 3 matches will wind up on the pre-show and therefore not even actually count as Wrestlemania matches for the below list. Best case scenario - those 3 matches I gave you at the top all go four stars, they give some good time to Joe/Rey and we get a top of its curve Balor/Lashley and Murphy/Nese and everything else is short.
Worst case - there's half an hour of Hunter staring at his sledgehammer. It's Wrestlemania. For better and worse. Watch the NXT show two nights before.
(It was worse case)
