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Revelation 14 - Apples Are Better Than Oranges

Sunday, June 22, 2008


The next time someone uses the phrase, "it's apples and oranges" recognize that if he is saying "these two things aren't comparable" he's using that phrase incorrectly.

Because apples are better.
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Apples taste better on their own, and the body of apple products, from pies to crisps to cobblers and brown bettys to martinis to jacks are superior to the body of orange related products, juices and roughys and whathaveyous.

I don't hate oranges.

But if there's one point I'd like you to take away from the totality of this blog - if this blog has a mission statement it's this:

There are no ties. Pushing is for pussies.

Everything can be evaluated as superior or inferior. Everything is either over or underrated.

Everything.

Money, for example, is underrated.

"But it's so highly rated - everyone knows money is huge - huge - how can it be underrated?"

Because it isn't overrated. So it's underrated. Make a goddamn decision please.

If you won't, I will. Someone has to.

So, the next time you hear "it's like apples and oranges" recognize that's code for "I don't have the stones to make that evaluation, so I'm going to punt."

If he won't make it - you make it.

And if you won't. I will. Hell, I'll make it even if you do. That's how I roll, sister.

Apples are better than oranges. It's just that easy. Next.

6 comments

joepet said...

I thought that you were a stats and data kind of guy?

Orange Juice
(8 ounces, unfortified)
112 calories
0 grams fat
496 milligrams potassium
124 milligrams vitamin C
74 micrograms folate

Apple Juice
(8 ounces, unfortified)
117 calories
0 grams fat
295 milligrams potassium
103 milligrams vitamin C
0 micrograms folate

The orange wins! All hail King Orange!

Jim said...

Folate?

You're going to rest your claim for oranges on folate?

I'll stick, thanks.

joepet said...

Look at those potassium numbers! You'd have to choke down half a banana with your apple juice to get the same Big K goodness as good old OJ.

And as a bonus, it conjures up images of the greatest escape from criminal responsibility in the history of the United States judicial system.

What more could you want from a fruit?

Jim said...

You're just baitin' me now.

joepet said...

You're right. I don't really care about apples or oranges.

Can we move on to the Peter Gabriel vs Phil Collins debate now?

Klytus said...

Orange juice is better than apple juice. Orange chicken at the chinese restaurant is tasty. Beyond that, yeah, it's the apple.

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