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Summer Slam 2011 Preview/Top 10 Matches in Summer Slam History

Friday, August 12, 2011




Summer Slam was born in late August, 1988, just a matter of days before 17 year old Jim Jividen moved into the all male dorm (you had to sneak in overnight female guests; the television in my room got one channel; we had community sausage fest showers; our assigned parking was on the other side of campus; I have very few good things to say about my choice of college) at Ohio Northern University that I'd share with my fellow entering freshmen.  Included in that group was Kirk Hiner, with whom I'd collaborate on multiple projects for the better part of the next quarter century.

Among those projects included our breaking into Kirk's frat house during summers to watch WWF programming.  It seemed like the thing to do at the time.

For almost 15 years now, I've been Kirk's primary contact with the goings on in professional wrestling; that once meant phone call match results recapping PPVs watched on squigglevision, and now it means quarterly previews of the "big 4" WWE supercards. You could get to my Wrestlemania 27 preview here.

Summer Slam 2011 is Sunday from LA.  It's a curious card.

CHAMPION V. CHAMPION: CM PUNK V. JOHN CENA (HHH-SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE)
-When last we left, The Miz was your WWE Champion, keeping against Cena in a crappy Wrestlemania main event; unsurprisingly, Cena wound up with the belt anyway, taking in the May PPV.

Then came the promo.

So, maybe you've heard, CM Punk cut a promo on RAW.  It wasn't unprecedented, Paul Heyman and Joey Styles had both cut similar "we like wrestling, not sports entertainment" promos in years previous, but this one hit the jetstream, and turned CM Punk from underground fave to (perhaps temporary) wrestling phenomenon.

This set up Punk challenging for the belt at the July PPV, on what was ostensibly the last day of his contract (like the promo itself, enough shooty-real that it had the veneer of credibility) in a show usefully in Punk's hometown, Chicago.  The guts of the Punk thing relies on the enthusiasm of the fans that WWE most actively dislikes, fans like me, and what fans like me know and what WWE relied on is that Punk's got an association with Chicago, built by years of independent wrestling storylines, like a Hart has with Calgary.

And that gave us the best atmosphere WWE has had for a PPV maybe since the top of Hogan's return (maybe longer, what it felt like was the Canadian Stampede show, or Van Dam/Edge at One Night Stand) and the best WWE match since Michaels/Angle at 21, with Punk taking the title from Cena and quitting the company.

Who became WWE Champ?  Rey - they had a quick tournament, Rey went over - and then Rey dropped to, wait for it, Cena.

Punk returned to WWE, and in a match set up by Hunter (as Vince was storyline fired in what is thought to be a precursor of Hunter's eventually taking the real life wheel) they meet at Summer Slam to unify the disputed title.

Punk's continued the shoot style promo gimmick, the anti-establishment figure against Cena, the corporate creation.  Cena's been a Hogan-like face of the company for years, popular largely with children, and if one feels alienated by a homogenized, corporatized "we don't like wrestling, wrestlers, or wrestling fans" WWE, the face of that product has been Cena's.

And he still punches like a girl.

The most recently ended decade is my favorite ever for US wrestling, the hegemony of WWF absorbing both WCW and ECW at the turn of the century led to a real resurgent independent wrestling movement that turned to high quality wrestling matches as its differentiation from WWE.  In the way that ECW said "we're not WWF" in the 90s by ratcheting up the violence, Ring of Honor did the same in the 2000s but with nearfalls.

Punk's one of the core figures of that movement, and his current character voices much of the indie leitmotif.  In the same July PPV where Punk took the belt there was another 4 star match, a Money In the Bank Match won by Bryan Danielson, who has been the singular standout performer in the 21st century independent wrestling movement, who has what appears to be a real world anti-corporate ethos that might fit snuggly in a street protest, and who, just a year ago, cut a similar "I'm a wrestler, dammit" promo himself.  They don't need to tether Danielson to the Punk angle (although were it to expand to a stable, they should) but its important to put a new foot forward if there are going to be different eyes watching the product.  Were I a lapsed wrestling fan, with not a lot of knowledge of styles of wrestling superior to WWE, some high level Danielson matches right now would really be appealing to me - particularly if he were framed as being particularly skilled.  I learned Mr. Perfect was a good wrestler because they told me he was; WWF was able to explain to me that the Intercontinental title matches were where I could go to get workrate, even when I had no idea what workrate meant.  They could do that now; while Punk fights the corporate machinery at the top of the card, Danielson could be underneath, having the best 15 minute match every single night and allowing young fans the education that appealed to me.  17 year old Jim Jividen moving into that dorm room still liked Hulk Hogan,  but who I most wanted to see in Summer Slam '88 was the Hart Foundation, as the idea that even though Hogan was a bigger star, Bret Hart was a better wrestler, was an idea I enjoyed having in 1988; it gave me the ability to think I was onto something, that I understood something, and there's no reason why John Cena fans can't enjoy wrestling in that way too.

This should be a good match, Alberto del Rio isn't on the card and he has a Money in the Bank briefcase; the bet here is that Hunter works del Rio into winning the title by night's end, screwing whomever wins the Cena/Punk match in a way that keeps them both as babyfaces.

(Edit - I got it right; 4 stars for the match, which given the pedestrian opening mat work and the mildly screwy finish is on the low end of 4 stars, but just can't be considered any kind of disappointment.  Moreover, I got Del Rio right, who is your new champ - and if you're going to do that booking as opposed to playing it straight - it was done particularly deftly.  Punk thought he was getting slow counted throughout the match, and there was maybe a fast count favoring Cena - but you'd probably side with Hunter on all of those issues.  Then Cena's foot on the ropes was overlooked, but that happens sometimes, and you might say Hunter just missed it as opposed to missing it intentionally.  The most likely construction of the Nash run in is it was set up to give Hunter deniability; unlike Vince, who wanted to be standing at ringside when he screwed Bret, to look Bret in the eye so he'd know he had been strongarmed - Hunter's swerve was more nuanced - he not only counted the fall for Punk, but did it when Cena's foot was on the ropes.  Who could possibly say Hunter screwed Punk on those facts?  Probably we're building to Punk/Hunter, and they've given themselves a way to get there.  It's good use of Nash, who could be made use of as on camera (just not in ring beyond once a year) talent.)

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: CHRISTIAN V RANDY ORTON (NO HOLDS BARRED)
When last we left, Edge kept the Smackdown Title in a good Mania opener over Del Rio.  He retired the next week (legit) due to injury; his longtime partner (no longer storyline brother) Christian beat Del Rio in a match for the vacant belt, and he immediately then dropped to Orton.  That led to Christian turning heel, out of frustration at being held down by same mindset "he's just not a main eventer - now that Randy Orton, that's a main eventer!" that is being fought against in the big angle.  Christian took at that same July PPV, by DQ, in a stip that allowed a belt switch in the event of said finish, and here we are.  The Punk angle has blotted out the sun, really casting a shadow over the entire company and relegating the Smackdown belt to secondary status (well, it's always been secondary - maybe it's tertiary now that there are 2 RAW belts) but every match these two have had has been good (Christian is as good at wrestling WWE style as is anyone; that sounds like damning with faint praise, it's not - I'm a big Christian mark even though he's not one of the hundred best wrestlers in the world) and this will be good also.  I assume Orton gets it back.

(Edit - Match of the night, 4 1/4, it's been a particularly strong year for WWE workrate, I think this might be the second best WWE MOTY.  Orton went over in a good garbage match.)
SHEAMUS V. MARK HENRY
This will be short.  Henry is now a heel, doing a monster gimmick, and maybe he challenges Orton next.  Sheamus has, I guess, turned face.  I like Sheamus.  It's unlikely this will be good.

(There's a body of opinion for a few years that Henry is a good worker; I don't think I've ever seen a 3 star Mark Henry singles match.  This wasn't the first.)
THERES A WOMEN'S MATCH


AND THAT'S IT. (Edit - Not any more, they've added DANIEL BRYAN V. WADE BARRETT; the program is Barrett's angry that a "nerd" like Bryan, as that's the way he's framed, has the money in the bank briefcase.  Barrett's just okay, so this isn't ideal, but will still be good)

(Barrett went over Danielson, 3 1/4, a good match the crowd didn't care about; and they added a six man opener that I thought was 3 stars also.  That's 2 four star matches and 2 three star matches.  A very successful Summer Slam). 


Kirk Hiner:  Dude, that's 4 matches.  It's Summer Slam, how are there only four matches?

Me: Yeah, I don't know.  I mean, I assume there will be a Del Rio cashing in the money in the bank briefcase match at the end, and maybe they throw on one more match in the undercard - but even after the Smackdown tapings, this is it.  4 matches, and two them will be short or at least should be.

(Yes, the Counterfactual is completely screwed if they do it like this.  Yes, it has occurred to me that's intentional.  Yes.)

It's possible that either of the two title matches might bust into this group.  The 10 Best Matches in Summer Slam history:

1. Bret Hart d. Owen Hart (94)

2. Davey Boy Smith d. Bret Hart (92)

3. Edge/Christian d. Hardys/Dudleys  (00)

4. Shawn Michaels d. Razor Ramon (95)

5. CM Punk d. Jeff Hardy (09)

6. Bret Hart d. Mr. Perfect (91)

(I'm slotting Orton/Christian right here).
7. Undertaker d. Edge  (08)

(I'm slotting Punk/Cena here).
8. Brainbusters d. Hart Foundation  (89)

9. Chris Benoit d. Chris Jericho (00)

10. Shawn Michaels d. Vader  (96) 



That's it.  Graps!

All Time Chargers 53 Man Roster

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Part of a series.  Last post is here. Updated through 2019. Here's my all time Chargers roster.



QB Philip Rivers
       Dan Fouts
      John Hadl
      Drew Brees
RB LaDainian Tomlinson
RB Chuck Muncie
      Ronnie Harmon
      Paul Lowe
WR Charlie Joiner
WR Lance Alworth
       Wes Chandler
       Gary Garrison
       Vincent Jackson
TE Antonio Gates
     Kellen Winslow
C Nick Hardwick
G Doug Wilkerson
G Walt Sweeney
T Ron Mix
T Russ Washington
   OL Ed White
   OL Kris Dielman
   OL Don Macek
   OL Billy Shields

DE  Leslie O'Neal
DT Gary Johnson
DT Louie Kelcher
DE Fred Dean
     DL Jamal Williams
     DL Earl Faison
     DL Leroy Jones
     DL Ernie Ladd
     DL Lee Williams
OLB Junior Seau
MLB Garry Plummer
OLB Woody Lowe
     LB Shaun Phillips
     LB Donnie Edwards
     LB Billy Ray Smith
     LB Chuck Allen
     LB Melvin Ingram
     LB Shawne Merriman
   
CB Gill Byrd
S Eric Weddle
S Kenny Graham
CB Quentin Jammer
     DB Rodney Harrison
     DB Mike Williams
     DB Vencie Glenn
     DB Dick Harris
     DB Joe Beauchamp
PK John Carney
P Mike Scifres

2011 College Football Preseason Top 25

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

My picks.  Here. The USA Today rankings are in parentheses. The potential Vegas win total plays are included if relevant.

1. Boise St. (7)
2. Alabama (2)
3. Virginia Tech (13)
4. Oklahoma (1)
5. TCU (15) (over 9)
6. Stanford (6) (win total is 9, consider a small over)
7. Oregon (3)
8. Florida St. (5)
9. Pittsburgh (unr)
10. West Virginia (unr)
11. Wisconsin (10)
12. Ohio St. (16)
13. Oklahoma St. (8)
14. Missouri (21) (over 7.5)
15. Arkansas (14)
16. LSU (4)
17. Auburn (19) (over 6)
18. USC (unr) (the number is 7.5 wins, consider a small over)
19. South Carolina (12)
20. Iowa (unr)
21. Nevada (unr)
22. NC St. (unr)
23. Notre Dame (18)
24. Michigan (unr) (over 7)
25. Georgia (22)

Consider a small under for Mississippi St (under 7.5)

The Top 10 NFL Players Not in the Hall of Fame

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

The NFL HOF induction ceremonies were this past weekend; NFL Net did one of their top ten shows of the top 10 players not in the Hall of Fame.

So, I did my own.  Only players eligible but not in are listed here.  

Here are ten players who absolutely, unequivocally, should be moved directly into the Pro Football  HOF.

Top 10 Players not in Pro Football HOF
1.       Jim Marshall 1960-79 DE Minnesota (Eller, Page, Marshall, Larsen - the greatest defensive line of all time)
2.       Ken Anderson 1971-86 QB Cincinnati (Better than Terry Bradshaw.)
3.       Alex Karras 1958-70 DT Detroit (Note the relatively short career compared to Marshall, per game, Karras is the best player on this list).  
4.       Mick Tingelhoff 1962-78 C Minnesota (The greatest center in NFC history.)
5.       Mike Kenn 1978-94 T Atlanta (Is Walter Jones a Hall of Famer?  'Cause Mike Kenn was as good.)
6.       Lee Roy Jordan 1963-76 MLB Dallas 
7.       Chuck Howley 1958-73 OLB Dallas (The Cowboys are among my my least favorite endeavors in human history, but both Howley and Jordan are HOFamers.  I get why the rest of the guys on the list aren't in, they either played for bad teams, or they lost big in multiple Super Bowls, or they're Alex Karras.  I don't have any idea why Howley/Jordan aren't in the HOF.  Why can't Jerry Jones fix that?
8.       Jim Hart 1966-84 QB St Louis (He and John Brodie should go in together)
9.       Russ Washington 1968-82 T San Diego (Mike Kenn, west coast version)
10.   Ken Riley 1969-83 CB Cincinnati (I love me some cornerbacks; Riley's the best eligible not in the Hall)


The Weekly Tendown July 31- August 6 2011

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Dear Internet:



Tendown 88 = the week my car got recalled.

1. 396
It's August, that means it's pennant race time.  My Giants are in the first, 62-52, down from a high of 17 games over .500 and bleeding out of our eyeballs.

What's wrong with the Giants is the number 396.  It's how many runs we've scored this season.  That's fewer than our runs allowed, meaning that although we've been in first most of the season, our pythag is sub .500

396 is 20 runs fewer than the Padres, who play in a ballpark roughly the size of Wyoming.  It's 31 fewer than the Astros, who are 40 games under .500.  It's a hundred and two fewer than the Phillies, who are looking at sweeping 4 from us in San Francisco at the time of this writing.  For every thousand reasons there are to be happy about winning a world title, there's one to be grumpy; here's the one, the Giants front office has had a long, long, long lineup preference for guys labeled as veteran/character guys - we'll take a Michael Tucker, give him 700 below average plate appearances, and dare you to tell us he can't play.  What do you mean he can't play - here's his baseball card, right here!


Okay, that's someone else's card.

Brian Sabean's like the guy who spent a decade losing money at the craps table and then got white hot for a month straight.  Aubrey Huff and Andres Torres massively outhit any reasonable projection, aiding our offense to reach middling, and Edgar Renteria (whose OPS+ in 700 some odd Giants plate appearances was 75; that means he was 3/4 of an average bat) slugged almost .800 in the World Series.  This year - neither Torres or his veteran platoon partner, high character scrappy run through a wall Aaron Rowand has hit at all (Rowand+Zito=12 years 186 million dollars of replacement level baseball; there aren't too many other professions where Brian Sabean could have demonstrated that kind of massively expensive corporate incompetence and still keep his hands on the wheel) nor has Huff or Miguel Tejada (or will, given a large enough sample, Orlando Cabrera.  Greg Papa, hosting the Giants pregame on TV, said this week "I'd like to see Orlando Cabrera lead off.  Cabrera's OBP this season is well, well under .300; the only people who should want to see Orlando Cabrera lead off are Arizona Diamondback fans.  How you can say something in such stark contradiction with our known reality is startling).

The truth is we got lucky and that's what you need sometimes.  But it's a mistake to look at the 2010 Giants as a blueprint for success anymore than the 2009 or 2008 or 2007 or 2006 or 2005 Giants were.

We're going to win the west.  We have the pitching to win the tournament.  But right now, we are the worst of all 8 of the "if the season ended today" playoff teams and I'd like a new guy rolling our dice.

2. The Debt Deal.
Here's Bush speechwriter David Frum. the rare conservative willing to recognize reality:

Imagine, if you will, someone who read only the Wall Street Journal editorial page between 2000 and 2011, and someone in the same period who read only the collected columns of Paul Krugman. Which reader would have been better informed about the realities of the current economic crisis? The answer, I think, should give us pause. Can it be that our enemies were right?


Here's Krugman.

The worst thing you can do in these circumstances is slash government spending, since that will depress the economy even further. Pay no attention to those who invoke the confidence fairy, claiming that tough action on the budget will reassure businesses and consumers, leading them to spend more. It doesn’t work that way, a fact confirmed by many studies of the historical record.


Here's Taibbi


The Democrats aren't failing to stand up to Republicans and failing to enact sensible reforms that benefit the middle class because they genuinely believe there's political hay to be made moving to the right. They're doing it because they do not represent any actual voters. I know I've said this before, but they are not a progressive political party, not even secretly, deep inside. They just play one on television.

And the best piece, from Slate.

Some of the congressional Republicans who are preventing action to help the economy are simply intellectual primitives who reject modern economics on the same basis that they reject Darwin and climate science. Others are obviously cynical, desiring the worst possible economy as an aid to recapturing the White House and Senate in 2012. Still others simply do not believe that government action can ever be a force for good at any time or in any way. Whatever their motivations, there is something terribly sad about desperate and unemployed Americans looking for rescue to a party that lacks any inclination to alleviate their misery.

3. Moratorium
Idiot outfielder Luke Scott had surgery on his labrum this week; he tweeted about it afterward - how do you suppose he characterized how it "went"?

It went well.

My second baseman had the same surgery this week.  Bruce Bochy characterized how it "went".

It went well.

I googled surgery + "it went well".

                                                                About 2,370,000 results (0.07 seconds) 

Moratorium.  Unless you start reading about labrum surgeries where a utility infielder died on the table, I think we're going to assume that it went well.  If it's a year from now and Freddy Sanchez still can't play, the way Mark DeRosa has been trying to get over a wrist injury the past couple of seasons, will newspapers run corrections:

"Last July, this newspaper reported that surgery to repair a pinched nerve in Justin Morneau's neck went well..   Morneau today announced his retirement.  We apologize for the error."

If you're having brain surgery, I'm guessing any outcome that has you going home definitionally means the surgery went well - if you're Ahmad Bradshaw getting your ankle cleaned up, I'm uncertain we're able to pronounce how the surgery went until the 4th quarter against the Eagles two and a half months later.

Reporter:  You made a helluva sharp cutback on that 17 yard run, Ahmad.
Bradshaw: Glad you noticed.  All credit to my orthopedist.  I think we can safely say that my ankle surgery back in February went well.

It's meaningless.  Stop saying it.  Moratorium on "it went well."

4. 8%
Newt Gingrich has over a million twitter followers.

92% are fake.

5. I Write the Stories
3 more all time NFL 45 man rosters this week.  Coming next week - my preseason college football Top 25.

Here's a sneak preview.

1. Boise St.
2. Alabama
3. Virginia Tech
4. TCU
5. Oklahoma
6. Stanford
7. Oregon
8. Florida St.
9. Pitt
10. West Virginia
11. Wisconsin
12. Ohio St.
13. Oklahoma St.
14. Missouri
15. Arkansas
16. LSU
17. Auburn
18. USC
19. South Carolina
20. Iowa
21. South Florida
22. NC St.
23. Notre Dame
24. Michigan
25. Georgia

6. To The Student Who Decided to Try to Talk to me About the Establishment Clause at the Urinal This Week.


Don't do that.

7. Why Should We Tax Millionaires?
I've mentioned multiple times that my two word campaign on fixing America's economy would be Tax Millionaires.

Justification?

Tax rates for millionaires have fallen 25% since '95.




8. The Glee Project Worked Me.



My pick since episode one to win the Glee Project was Cameron; I wasn't for him specifically, I prefer Lindsay, but he was my prediction.  I got worked; my guess is the show was subtly pushing him as the favorite knowing what was coming. This week, he pushed the red button, walking off the show to avoid having to have full penetrative intercourse in an on camera audition designed to test his commitment to his craft.

This was treated as a serious moral issue; which presumably caused every other struggling actor trying to decide if this week they sell plasma or sperm to pay the next installment on those headshots to admire Cameron's fortitude.  Sure, they might be willing to have sex on camera to get a shot at a 7 episode arc on one of the more popular shows...

I'm sorry?

Yeah, that's right.  I was confusing that with something else.  Cameron didn't want to kiss a girl.  Cameron's 21 years old and has decided that being an actor on television somehow is compatible with never kissing a girl he isn't in real live love with.  Also, Cameron refuses to use contractions.  "Why should I say isn't when is not feels so much better in my brain?"

They were awfully nice to him.  Ryan Murphy said he could not kiss the girl and still get an automatic pass into the next round.  'Cause Glee's an awfully nice place.  If Cameron quit the MTV Challenge refusing to do some competition that required him to rub up against Paula Walnuts because of his deeply held religious beliefs, TJ Lavin would have kicked him square in the labrum.

Cameron, a reality contest on MTV's The Ruins had surgery last night to repair a torn labrum caused by an attack from host TJ Lavin.  It went well.  "Dr. Edwards killed it:" tweeted Lavin.  "He killed it."  

WWE has a reality show called Tough Enough where the winner gets a contract; historically, the wrestlers haven't much taken to the winners, believing they haven't had to pay their dues.  I don't know if SAG has a similar view of these matters, but if the cast of the recently canceled Traffic Light is arrested for beating Cameron half to death with pillowcases full of bars of soap, you'll know why they pulled the code red.

9. The Real World Contract
Here's the standard real world contract.  The kids waive their right to sue MTV if they get raped.

10.. American Family Association
One of the primary sponsors of Rick Perry's "Jesus is our stimulus package" Prayerapalooza yesterday was the American Family Association - a group absolutely as vile as any Holocaust denier.  Homosexuals were slaughtered in the Holocaust, targeted specifically and slaughtered, but the AFA has propagated a myth designed to further anti-gay hatred in the US, that the Nazis were a gay movement.

If we had a mainstream media that hadn't spent the last 30 years cowering in fear of conservatives, Republicans who associate themselves with groups like the American Family Association would be treated the same way we used to treat the batshit right wingers in this country who thought water fluoridation was part of a UN one world government conspiracy.

Instead, you know, of handing them Medicare.

That's all for this time.  I'll be back next time.  If there is a next time...

Your pal,

Jim

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