I'm sure you're fabulous. With your "soul" and whatnot. 'Cause you're a person, capable of reflecting on your own existence. Like Socrates. And the Jonas Brothers. Superproud of you. Mean it. Seriously.
I'd step over your barely breathing body to eat onion rings. If the choice is performing mouth to mouth on you, saving your precious human life or eating me some goddamn onion rings; my mouth's about to gets greasy, yo.
Nothin' personal. I just like onion rings. For reals.
