There's an oft quoted Lorne Michaels comment about SNL that is something like - we don't do it because we're ready, we do it because it's Saturday at 11:30. Well, it's a Sunday in late August and that means it's Summer Slam.
WWE Title: Drew McIntyre (c) vs. Randy Orton
-McIntyre is the 137th WWE/F Champion; taking the belt from Brock at Mania. It's been an uninspired reign at an uninspired time for the promotion. Orton has revived his legend killer gimmick in the aftermath of his program with Edge, wiping out Christian/Show/Flair/Michaels. It's a perfectly reasonable build to what will likely be a perfectly reasonable match, I wouldn't anticipate a clean finish, so either Orton wins through chicanery or there is no finsh at all seems most likely.
(McIntyyre wins, it was fine, I had it at 3 1/4, long, deliberate Orton style match, McIntyre keeps, goes over clean)
Universal Title: Braun Strowman (c) vs. "The Fiend" Bray Wyatt
-Currently, this is the main title on Smackdown, while the WWE Title is on RAW - Strowman is the 12th Universal Champion, he took from Goldberg at Mania. This has been the summer feud for this belt and has included the taped "cinematic" type of match that WWE is overly proud of. They've thrown in Alexa Bliss as damsel in distress and appeared to turn Strowman as he attacked her last week. Maybe that's a double turn, with Wyatt now being a babyface; maybe Bliss will be turning along with Strowman. Hell if I know or care. There is no circumstance this is a good match.
(It was not a good match)
RAW Women's Title: Sasha Banks (c) (with Bayley) vs. Asuka
Smackdown Women's Title: Bayley (c) (with Sasha Banks) vs. Asuka
-Sasha and Bayley are heel tag champs who also now have both women's singles belts; Asuka is the babyface who has worked her way into challenging for both belts. The RAW belt was Becky's, she vacated due to her pregnancy and the belt was awarded to Asuka - Banks took it in a ladder match at the Money in the Bank PPV in July. Bayley's had the Smackdown belt since October, this the longest ever reign for a Smackdown Women's Champion. These three have been mixed together for months and it would make sense that this blows all of that off, with Asuka taking one of the two titles. Bayley and Banks are good, Asuka's better than that, these should all be matches that are worth watching and probably have some level of interference involved in the finishes.
(That is how they booked it, Asuka took Banks's belt and lost to Bayley, the Banks match was better, solid 3 1/2 stars, best match of the night, I've got the Bayley match at 3)
US Title: Apollo Crews (c) vs. MVP
-Crews is the maybe the best worker on the card; this belt is the lineal US belt launched in 1975 in Mid-Atlantic under the NWA umbrella, picked up by WCW, and then onto WWE. Crews is the 168th US Champ. He took from Andrade on RAW in May. MVP has a heel stable and Apollo refused to become a member, leading to this program. MVP is washed so this is match is really just to see if Cedric Alexander costs Crews the belt in a turn to join MVPs stable (yes, Alexander and Ricochet work for this promotion and are not on the card...like another three dozen terrific workers)
(Moved to the pre-show)
RAW Tag Titles: The Street Profits (Angelo Dawkins and Montez Ford) (c) vs. Andrade and Angel Garza (with Zelina Vega)
-The RAW tag belt was launched in '02, the Street Profits are the 80th Champions, they took from Murphy and Rollins in March. They're the babyfaces, Andrade and Garza the heels, Zelina poisoned Ford but now he's fine and so they fight. It'll likely be okay; Andrade's the best worker of the four, the Street Profits are still a little green.
(Short, TV style match, Profits keep)
Street Fight: Dominik Mysterio (with Rey Mysterio) vs. Seth Rollins (with Murphy)
-I'm of a mind that heat angles largely don't work in an audience-free environment and so Seth's "I will take out your eye and murder your child" assault on Rey falls completely flat. Dominik is just a kid, this is his first TV match, I'd assume they tape it and edit it and give it as many bells and whistles as needed so he comes off well. If this were in front of an audience, my guess is it dies a brutal death. I wouldn't think they'd put Mystero's son over, but they make odd booking choices.
(Really long, lot of standing around, there are people who liked this match much more than I did, I went 2 1/2 and think of that as on the generous end, Rollins wins)
Hair v. Hair Mandy Rose vs. Sonya Deville
-This is only interesting because IRL a dude just tried to abduct Deville a few days ago and she and Rose fled together to safety. Babyface Rose likely goes over.
(Entirely as expected)
The go home Smackdown is still to come; reasonable they might throw another couple of match at us on Friday, which would be welcome.
Currently, There's not a match on the card I want to see. None of them.
(Not a good show - I've got it as the first Summer Slam in 8 years without a 4 star match, probably worst Summer Slam since '10)
Here's every (probably, maybe I missed some) Summer Slam match in history ranked. Ratings are mine, times are approximate.
1. 1994 WWF Title Cage: Bret Hart d. Owen Hart 32 min 4 ¾
2. 1992 IC Davey Boy Smith d. Bret Hart 25 min 4 ¾
3. 2000 Tags: TLC: Edge/Christian d. Hardys d. Dudleys 15 min 4 ½
4. 1995 IC Ladder: Shawn Michaels d. Razor Ramon 25min 4 ½
5. 2013 No DQ: Brock Lesnar d. CM Punk 25min 4 1/4
6. 2016 AJ Styles d. John Cena 23 min 4 1/4
7. 2017 Universal: Brock Lesnar d. Samoa Joe/Roman Reigns/Braun Strowman 21 min 4 1/4
8. 1991 IC: Bret Hart d. Mr. Perfect 18 min 4 ¼
9. 2009 WWE Title TLC: CM Punk d. Jeff Hardy 21:30 4 ¼
10. 2013 WWE Title Daniel Bryan d. John Cena 27 min 4 1/4
11. 2011 World Title No Holds Barred: Christian d. Randy Orton 23:30 4 ¼
12. 1996 WWF Title: Shawn Michaels d. Vader 22 min 4
13. 2002 Nonsanctioned: Shawn Michaels d. HHH 27:30 4
14. 2019 Universal Title: Seth Rollins d. Brock Lesnar 13:30 4
15. 2016 Universal: Finn Balor d. Seth Rollins 19 min 4
16. 2000 2/3 Falls Chris Benoit d. Chris Jericho 13 min 4
17. 2008 HIAC: Undertaker d. Edge 26 min 4
18. 2018 Miz d. Daniel Bryan 23:30 4
19. 2011 WWF Title: CM Punk d. John Cena 24 min 4
20 2014 WWF Title: Brock Lesnar d. John Cena 16:30 4
21. 1989 Brainbusters d. Hart Foundation 16 min 4
22. 2018 WWE Title: Samoa Joe d. AJ Styles (DQ) 23 min
23. 2004: World: Randy Orton d. Chris Benoit 20 min 3 ¾
24. 1998 IC Ladder: HHH d. Rock 26 min 3 ¾
25. 2017 RAW Tags: Rollins/Ambrose d. Sheamus/Cesaro 19 min 3 3/4
26. 2001 WWF Title: Kurt Angle d. Steve Austin 22:30 3 ¾
27. 2003 WWF Title Kurt Angle d. Brock Lesnar 21 min 3 ¾
28. 2015 WWF Title: Seth Rollins d. John Cena 19 min 3 3/4
29. 2015 Kevin Owens d. Cesaro 14:30 min 3 3/4
30. 2012 Brock Lesnar d. HHH 18:30 3 ¾
31. 1999 WWF Title: Mankind d. Steve Austin/HHH 16:30 3 ¾
32. 2010 Team WWE d. Team Nexus 35:30 3 ¾
33. 1989 Rick Martel/Rougeaus d. Rockers/Tito Santana 15 min 3 ¾
34. 2004 Kurt Angle d. Eddie Guerrero 3 ½
35. 2001 Hardcore Ladder: RVD d. Jeff Hardy 16:30 3 ½
36. 2002 IC: RVD d. Chris Benoit 16:30 3 ½
37. 2016 Brock Lesnar d. Randy Orton 11min 3 1/2
38. 2017 US: AJ Styles d. Kevin Owens 16 min 3 1/2
39. 2018 IC: Seth Rollins d. Dolph Ziggler 22 min 3 1/2
40. 1997 IC: Steve Austin d. Owen Hart 16 min 3 ½
41. 1998 Lion’s Den: Ken Shamrock d. Owen Hart 9 min 3 ½
42. 2012 Chris Jericho d. Dolph Ziggler 13 min 3 ½
43. 2009 IC: Rey Mysterio d. Dolph Ziggler 12:30 min 3 ½
44. 1997 WWF Title: Bret Hart d. Undertaker 28 min 3 ½
45. 2015 Undertaker d. Brock Lesnar 17 min 3 1/2
46. 1990 Tags: Hart Foundation d. Demolition 15:30 3 ½
47. 1992 Ultimate Warrior d. Randy Savage 26 min 3 ½
48. 1997 Cage: Mankind d. HHH 16 min 3 ½
49. 2013 World: Alberto del Rio d. Christian 12:30 3 1/2
50. 2003 Eddie Guerrero d. Chris Benoit/Tajiri/Rhyno 10:30 3 ½
51. 2009 DX d. Cody Rhodes/Ted Dibiase, Jr. 20 min 3 ½
52. 1993 Tatanka/Smoking Gunns d. Bam Bam Bigelow/Headshrinkers 11 min 3 ½
53. 1988 British Bulldogs draw Rougeaus 20 min. 3 ½
54. 1996 Boiler Room Brawl Mankind d. Undertaker 27 min 3 ½
55. 2005 Ladder: Rey Mysterio d. Eddie Guerrero 20:30 3 ¼
56. 2014 Bray Wyatt d. Chris Jericho 13 min 3 1/4
57. 2002: Edge d. Eddy Guerrero 12 min 3 ¼
58. 2011 Wade Barrett d. Daniel Bryan 11:30 3 1/4
59. 1995 Hakushi d. 123 Kid 9 min 3 ¼
60. 2015 Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose d. Bray Wyatt/Luke Harper 11 min 3 1/4
61. 2019: Charlotte Flair d. Trish Stratus 16:30 3 1/4
62. 2019 US Title: AJ Styles d. Ricochet 13 min 3 1/4
63. 1999 Test d. Shane McMahon 12 min 3 ¼
64. 1998 Hair: 123 Kid d. Jeff Jarrett 11 min 3 ¼
65. 1998 WWF Title: Steve Austin d. Undertaker 21 min 3 ¼
66. 2000 WWF Title: Rock d. Kurt Angle/HHH 20 min 3 ¼
67. 2006 WWF Title Edge d. John Cena 15:30 3 ¼
68. 2018 Smackdown Tags: New Day d. Bludgeon Brothers (DQ) 9:30 3 1/4
69. 2010 RAW Title: Randy Orton d. Sheamus 19 min 3 ¼
70. 2015 Sheamus d. Randy Orton 12 min 3 1/4
71. 1993 Tags: Steiners d. Heavenly Bodies 9:30 3 ¼
72. 1989 IC Title: Ultimate Warrior d. Rick Rude 16 min 3 ¼
73. 2002 Kurt Angle d. Rey Mysterio 9 min 3
74. 2001 IC: Edge d. Lance Storm 11 min 3
75. 2001 Jr: XPac d. Tajiri 7 min 3
76. 2014 Seth Rollins d. Dean Ambrose 11 min 3
77. 2016 WWF Title: Dean Ambrose d. Dolph Ziggler 15 min 3
78. 2006 I Quit: Ric Flair d. Mick Foley 13 min 3
79. 2001 WCW Title: Rock d. Booker T 15 min 3
80. 2005 WWF Title John Cena d. Chris Jericho 15 min 3
81. 1988 Tags: Demolition d. Hart Foundation 10 min 3
82. 1994 IC: Razor Ramon d. Diesel 15 min 3
83. 2002 WWF Title: Brock Lesnar d. Rock 16:30 3
84 2018 US Title: Shinsuke Nakamura d. Jeff Hardy 10:30 3
85. 2004 Dudleys d. Rey Mysterio/Paul London/Billy Kidman 8 min 3
86. 2011 Rey Mysterio/John Morrison/Kofi Kingston d. Miz/R Truth/Alberto del Rio 9:30 3
87. 2019 RAW Women: Becky Lynch v. Natty Neidhart 12:30 3
88. 1993 Bret Hart d. Doink 10 min 3
89. 2007 Rey Mysterio d. Chavo Guerrero 12 min 3
90. 2008 MVP d. Jeff Hardy 10 min 3
91. 1996 Owen Hart d. Savio Vega 13:30 3
92. 2008 World CM Punk d. JBL 11 min 3
93. 2012 World: Sheamus d. Alberto del Rio 11:30 3
94. 1995 Bret Hart d. Isaac Yankem 16 min 3
95. 2012 IC: Miz d. Rey Mysterio 9 min 3
96. 2016 Owens/Jericho d. Cass/Enzo 12 min 3
97. 1992 Shawn Michaels draw Rick Martel 8 min 3
98. 1991 Virgil d. Ted DiBiase 13 min 3
99. 2007 WWF: John Cena d. Randy Orton 21 min 3
100. 2014 Roman Reigns d. Randy Orton 16:30 3
101. 2008 Batista d. John Cena 13:30 3
102. 2003 Elimination Chamber 19 min 3
103. 1999 Tag Team Gauntlet 16:30 3
104. 1997 Davey Boy Smith d. Ken Shamrock 7:30
105. 1999 Lion’s Den: Ken Shamrock d. Steve Blackman 9 min
106. 2000 Hardcore: Shane McMahon d. Steve Blackman 10 min
107. 2007 ECW: John Morrison d. CM Punk 7 min
108. 2014 IC: Dolph Ziggler d. Miz 8 min
109. 2016 Women: Charlotte d. Sasha 14 min
110. 2005 Randy Orton d. Undertaker 17 min
111. 2004 IC: Edge d. Chris Jericho/Batista 8:30 min
112. 2001 Chris Jericho d. Rhyno 12:30
113. 1994 Women: Alundra Blayze d. Bull Nakano 8 min
114. 1999 IC/Euro: Jeff Jarrett d. DLo Brown 7:30
115. 1993 Razor Ramon d. Ted DiBiase 7:30
116. 1996 Goldust d. Marc Mero 11 min
117. 1998 Euro: DLo Brown d. Val Venis 15:30
118. 2005 Edge d. Matt Hardy 5 min
119. 2018 Universal Title: Roman Reigns d. Brock Lesnar 6:30
120. 2012 WWF Title: CM Punk d. John Cena/Big Show 14:30
121. 2019: WWE Title: Kofi Kingston draw Randy Orton 16:30
122. 2006 Chavo Guerrero d. Rey Mysterio 11 min
123. 2012 Daniel Bryan d. Kane 8 min
124. 2017 Finn Balor d. Bray Wyatt 10:30
125. 2015 Tags: New Day d.. Prime Time Players/Los Matadores/Lucha Dragons 10 min
126. 2014 Rusev d. Jack Swagger 9 min
127. 2002: Ric Flair d. Chris Jericho 10:30
128. 2004 HHH d. Eugene 14 min
129. 2010: Smackdown Title: Kane d. Rey Mysterio 12:30
130. 2003: Kane d. RVD 13 min
131. 2005 Kurt Angle d. Eugene 5 min
132. 2007 IC: Umaga d. Carlito/Ken Kennedy 7:30
133. 1989 Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake d. Randy Savage/Zeus 15 min
134. 1988 Hulk Hogan/Randy Savage d. Ted DiBiase/Andre the Giant 14:30 min
135. 1990 Power&Glory d. Rockers 6 min
136. 2019 Goldberg d. Dolph Ziggler 2 min
137. 2018 RAW Women's Title: Ronda Rousey d. Alexa Bliss 4:30
138. 2011 Mark Henry d. Sheamus 9:30
139. 2007 Kane d. Fit Finlay 9 min
140. 1999 Hardcore: Al Snow d. Boss Man 7:30
141. 1999 Rock d. Billy Gunn 10 min
142 2019 Kevin Owens v. Shane McMahon 9:30
143. 2018 Smackdown Women's Title: Charlotte Flair d. Becky Lynch/Carmella 14:30
144. 1993 WWF Title: Lex Luger d. Yokozuna 18 min
145. 1991 Ricky Steamboat/Davey Boy Smith/Kerry von Erich d. Warlord/Power&Glory 10:30
146. 2005 Hulk Hogan d. Shawn Michaels 21:30
147. 1993 Shawn Michaels d. Mr. Perfect 11:30
148. 2009 Tags: Chris Jericho/Big Show d. Cryme Tyme 9:30
149. 2012 Tags: R-Truth/Kofi Kingston d. PTP 7 min
150. 2009 WWF Title Randy Orton d. John Cena 21 min
151. 2013 Cody Rhodes d. Damien Sandow 6:30
152. 2017 WWF Title: Jinder Mahal d. Shinsuke Nakamura 11:30
153. 2008 WWF Title HHH d. Khali 9:30
154. 2007 Booker T d. HHH 8 min
155. 2006 DX d. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon 13 min
156. 2006 World Title: Batista d. Booker 10:30
157. 2004 JBL d. Undertaker 17:30 min
158. 2005 World: Batista d. JBL 9 min
159. 2002 Un-Americans d. Goldust/Booker T 9:30
160. 1999 Tags: Undertaker/Big Show d. XPac/Kane 12 min
161. 2001 Tags: Undertaker/Kane d. DDP/Kanyon 10 min
162. 2006 ECW Title: Big Show d. Sabu 8:30
163. 2009 MVP d. Jack Swagger 6 min
164. 2015 IC: Ryback d. Miz/Show 5:30 min
165. 1995 Barry Horowitz d. Skip 11:30
166. 1991 Big Boss Man d. Jacques Rougeau 9:30
167. 2001 Dudleys/Test d. APA/Spike Dudley 7 min
168. 2013 Ring of Fire: Bray Wyatt d. Kane 7:30
169. 1997 LOD d. Godwinns 10 min
170. 1988 Powers of Pain d. Bolsheviks 5:30
171. 1994 Bam Bam Bigelow/IRS d. Headshrinkers 7 min
172. 1993 Jerry Lawler d. Bret Hart 6:30
173. 2004 Kane d. Matt Hardy 6 min
174. 1996 Smoking Gunns d. Bodydonnas d. New Rockers d. Godwinns 12 min
175. 2015 Neville/Stephen Amell d. Stardust/Wade Barrett 7:30 min
176. 2014 Women: Paige d. AJ Lee 5 min
177 2017 Smackdown Women: Natty d. Naomi 11 min
178. 2017 RAW Women: Sasha Banks d. Alexa Bliss 13:30
179. 2019 Smackdown Women: Bayley d. Moon 10 min
180. 1989 Ted DiBiase d. Jimmy Snuka 6:30
181. 1990 IC: Kerry von Erich d. Mr. Perfect 5 min
182. 1993 IRS d. 123 Kid 6 min
183. 1990 Hulk Hogan d. Earthquake 13 min
184. 1990 WWF Title Cage Match: Ultimate Warrior d. Rick Rude 10 min
185. 2017 John Cena d. Baron Corbin 10 min
186. 1991 Tags: Street Fight: LOD d. Nasty Boys 6:30
187. 1991 Hulk Hogan/Ultimate Warrior d. Sgt. Slaughter/Mustafa/Adnan 12:30
188. 1995 HHH d. Sparky Plugg 7 min
189. 2010 IC Dolph Ziggler no contest Kofi Kingston 7 min
190. 2015 Dolph Ziggler no contest Rusev 11 min
191. 1997 Boriquas d. DOA 9 min
192. 2003 Tags: LaResistance d. Dudley Boys 8 min
193. 1998 Tags: New Age Outlaws d. Mankind 5 min
194. 2000 IC: Eddy Guerrero/Chyna d. Val Venis/Trish Stratus 7 min
195. 2011 Women: Kelly Kelly d. Beth Phoenix 6:30
196. 2000 XPac d. Road Dogg 4:30
197. 2016 IC: Miz d. Apollo Crews 5:30
198. 2004 John Cena d. Booker T 6 min
199. 2003 Undertaker d. A-Train 9 min
200. 2002 Undertaker d. Test 8 min
201. 2019 The Field d. Finn Balor 3:30
202. 2014 Stephanie McMahon d. Brie Bella 10 min
203. 2010 Big Show d. CM Punk/Luke Gallows/Joey Mercury 6:30
204. 2015 Team PCB d. Team Bella d. Team BAD 15 min
205. 1989 Mr. Perfect d. Red Rooster 3:30
206. 2013 Dolph Ziggler/Kaitlyn d. Big E Langston/AJ Lee
207. 1988 Big Boss Man d. Koko B. Ware 6 min
208. 1990 Jake Roberts d. Bad News Brown 4:30
209. 1990 Warlord d. Tito Santana 5:30
210. 1993 Ludwig Borga d. Marty Janetty 5 min
211. 1996 Sid d. Davey Boy Smith 6 min
212 2000 Jerry Lawler d. Tazz 4:30
213. 2000 RTC d. Rikishi/Too Cool 5 min
214. 1992 Tags: Natural Disasters d. Beverly Brothers 10:30
215. 1992 LOD d. Money Inc 15 min
216. 1991 IRS d. Greg Valentine 4 min
217. 2018 Braun Strowman d. Kevin Owens 2 min
218. 2018 Finn Balor d. Baron Corbin 90 sec
219. 1990 Randy Savage d. Dusty Rhodes 2 min
220 2016 US: Rusev NC. Roman Reigns 0 sec.
221. 2005 US: Chris Benoit d. Orlando Jordan 30 sec
222. 1988 IC Title: Ultimate Warrior d. Honky Tonk Man :30
223. 2009 ECW Christian d. William Regal :30
224. 2017 Randy Orton d. Rusev :30
225. 2011 WWF Title: Alberto del Rio d. CM Punk :30
226. 2008 ECW Matt Hardy d. Mark Henry :30
227. 2013 WWF Title: Randy Orton d. Daniel Bryan :30
228. 1992 Undertaker d. Kamala 3:30
229. 1990 Hacksaw Duggan/Nikolai Volkoff d. Orient Express 3:30
230. 1995 Smoking Gunns d. Blu Brothers 6 min
231. 1992 Crush d. Repo Man 5:30
232. 1988 Dino Bravo d. Don Muraco 5:30
233. 1989 Hacksaw Duggan/Demolition d. Andre the Giant/Boss Man/Akeem 7:30
234. 1998 Edge/Sable d. Marc Mero/Jacqueline 8:30
235. 2003 Shane McMahon d. Eric Bischoff 10:30
236. 2006 Hulk Hogan d. Randy Orton 11 min
237. 1989 Greg Valentine d. Hercules 3 min
238. 1988 Rick Rude d. JYD 6:30
239. 1992 Nailz d. Virgil 4 min
240. 1997 Goldust d. Brian Pillman 7 min
241. 1994 Tatanka d. Lex Luger 6 min
242. 2009 Kane d. Khali 6 min
243. 1988 Bad News Brown d. Ken Patera 6:30
244. 1991 Natural Disasters d. Bushwackers 6:30
245. 1998 Oddities d. Kaientai 10 min
246. 2016: Tags: Anderson/Gallows d. New Day (DQ) 9 min
247. 2008 IC/Women Santino/Beth Phoenix d. Kofi Kingston/Mickie James 5:30
248. 2000 Undertaker no contest Kane 6 min
249. 2016 Natalya/Nikki/Alexa d. Naomi/Carmella/Becky 11 min
250. 1993 Undertaker d. Giant Gonzalez 8 min
251. 1994 Jeff Jarrett d. Mabel 6 min
252. 1989 Dusty Rhodes d. Honky Tonk Man 9:30
253. 1988 Jake Roberts d. Hercules 10 min
254. 1994 Undertaker d. Undertaker 9 min
255. 1995 WWF Title: Diesel d. Mabel 9 min
256. 2017 Cass d. Show 10:30
257. 2013 Natalya d. Brie Bella 4 min
258. 1995 Women: Bertha Faye d. Alundra Blayze 5 min
259. 1999 Women: Ivory d. Tori 4 min
260. 2000 Women: Kat d. Terri 3 min
261. 2010 Women: Melina d. Alicia Fox 5:30
262. 2007 World: Batista d. Khali 7 min
263. 1996 Jerry Lawler d. Jake Roberts 4 min
264. 1995 Undertaker d. Kamala 16:30
265. 1990 Sherri d. Sapphire (forfeit)
266. 2007 Diva Battle Royal 7 min
267. 2004 Diva Dodge Ball 3 min
