Hi.
This is issue 5 of my weekly feature here at TBOR - The Tendown - where I count down the very best things that happened over the past week. In Last Week's Issue, I talked about my mathematically precise dislike for Tim Tebow, Marc Maron's brother's wife-swap, and the grilled chicken wings at Pollo Tropical.
How did this past week measure up? Let's go to the Tendown - what was the very best thing that happened this week...
First...A Vote is a Terrible Thing to Waste.
The best thing I read this week was Glenn Greenwald's reaction to Obama's Nobel acceptance speech:
Obama puts a pretty, intellectual, liberal face on some ugly and decidedly illiberal polices. Just as George Bush's Christian-based moralizing let conservatives feel good about America regardless of what it does, Obama's complex and elegiac rhetoric lets many liberals do the same. To red state Republicans, war and its accompanying instruments (secrecy, executive power, indefinite detention) felt so good and right when justified by swaggering, unapologetic toughness and divinely-mandated purpose; to blue state Democrats, all of that feels just as good when justified by academic meditations on "just war" doctrine and when accompanied by poetic expressions of sorrow and reluctance. When you combine the two rhetorical approaches, what you get is what you saw yesterday: a bipartisan embrace of the same policies and ideologies among people with supposedly irreconcilable views of the world.
A friend from grad school and I are in a long running good natured debate over which of us is the more soft. That's not a reference to my expanding midsection as I near the 40th year of my life; instead it's an historical critique of the radical left. Karl Marx predicted the inevitably of western revolution; instead, what happened is the working class got bought off. The rest of the west got health care and paid vacations; in the US, we got three hundred forty seven different flavors of potato chips (I lean toward kettle cooked BBQ).
The intellectual leaders of the left were (complicit would be the pejorative term) in the early 20th century; repeatedly backing away from the type of violence which would be required to challenge the legitimacy of western governments in order to earn seats at bargaining tables. I don't have a rote answer on how favorably this should be viewed; it's easy from the safety of one's notebook to argue living wages and workplace health and safety regulations were small victories when ensuring perpetual enslavement to the corporate state, but if (for example) you're a 65 year old in the United States 80 years ago when senior citizens were the most impoverished group in the country, you'll correctly welcome the creation of the welfare state when it means a Social Security check each month.
People with full bellies don't so much take up arms against their oppressors.
My role in the great struggle is inconsequential. I'm just an average man, with an average life. I work from 9 to 5, hell how I pay the price. I'm a leftist; I see both church and state as hegemonic tools; and while I've spent the plurality of my waking hours in my almost 40 years plunged into sports and popular culture, I see all of that too as just the drug I find palatable. I don't devote my life to invisible guys in the sky - but I do have a 30,000 word piece of wrestling fan fiction. I don't tear up at displays of nationalism - there isn't a rendition of the Star Spangled Banner or an unfurling of Old Glory that will cause even the slightest lump to form in my throat - but you show me that tape of Joe Montana coming out to play that second half on that Monday night against the Lions in his last game as a Niner and I will sob like nobody's bidness.
It's all bread and circuses, but bread is tasty and I have a giant TV.
Where I had held out was in Presidential politics. It's no more than an eggshell, but I had drawn the line at supporting political candidates whose views I found to be corporately controlled. Over the two plus decades that I've been voting, occasionally a Democrat was closely enough aligned to my views that he received my support - but that had never been true for a winning candidate for the Presidency.
(Note the word "winning" - that's true for both primaries and the general election - I did unenthusiastically vote for Dukakis in the general election in '88, and I was even more uneasy about my vote for Kerry in '04).
Last year, I voted for Obama. My grad school friend did not. My argument was that it was necessary; that the divide between Republicans and Democrats had grown real (not as real as the public believes, but real) as the American right had pulled to an unrecognizable place that literally threatened the planet's existence.
My eyes were open about Obama, he's a businessman's President, but I did argue the possibility of growth within the office - that like FDR or LBJ, the enormity of his ability to enable some measure of economic justice would manifest in the types of policies that make softs like me feel we're accomplishing something with our lives.
But a year in, instead what we have is a President who gave a Nobel acceptance speech saying that America's mission is to fight evil using its military. A speech embraced by Rove, Gingrich, and Sarah Barracuda. And we have a President who has presided over an enormous money grab by Wall St - one which has the feel of one last round of profit taking before our company..er...country..goes belly up, but one which, in the second best piece I read this week, Matt Taibbi writes is the same type of institutionalizing of right wing policy domestically as was articulated in the Nobel speech:
The extensive series of loophole-rich financial "reforms" that the Democrats are currently pushing may ultimately do more harm than good. In fact, some parts of the new reforms border on insanity, threatening to vastly amplify Wall Street's political power by institutionalizing the taxpayer's role as a welfare provider for the financial-services industry. At one point in the debate, Obama's top economic advisers demanded the power to award future bailouts without even going to Congress for approval — and without providing taxpayers a single dime in equity on the deals.
And that's what got me this week. When right wing policies come from right wing mouths, you can retain the argument that there's a possibility of change. When right wing policies come from perceived left wing mouths, then they become normalized, embedded - they marginalize opposition, move it outside of what we allow as debate in our country. Our national debate isn't going to change for the next three years - it's going to be "is Obama too liberal" - so the degree to which his right wing foreign and domestic policies become attached in the public mind to the Democrats, the further and further and further away from my preferred version of the United States we become. Maybe the only way not to waste my vote is to vote for a candidate who can't win.
On that discouraging note. After the jump - the Ten Next Best Things that happened this week!
I Pick Every NFL Game - Week 14
Thursday, December 10, 2009
95-95-2
Win and I'm in the fantasy football playoffs - and a decision has to be made right now - Roethlisberger or Flacco? It's a weather motivated conundrum; if not for the weather in Cleveland I'd just say Ben. But I think I have the advantage with my matchup, and a fairly certain moderate game from Flacco may be worth passing up Ben's upside to avoid a TD free windswept evening. I haven't decided. I'm leaning Ben. Fortune favoring the brave and whatnot; generally, I avoid gripping about the weather. (edit - well, that was error)
First week without the burden of winning college games (19 over .500 the final total for the regular season, 5 over .500 in my weekly locks, and a contest win that will probably find its way into this week's Tendown) so now we're headed over .500 for good in the NFL.
(unrelated - Dear Brian, please sign Nick Johnson. Thank you.)
Steelers -10 Browns (loss)
Saints -9 Falcons (loss)
GB -3 Chicago (win)
NYJ -3 TB (win)
Jax -3 Miami (loss)
Ravens -13.5 Detroit (win)
Houston -6 Seattle (win)
Indy -7 Denver (win)
Buffalo over KC (win)
Vikes -6.5 Bengals (win)
NE -13.5 Panthers (loss)
Wash -1 Oakland (win)
Titans -13 Rams (win)
SD +3 Dallas (win)
NYG -1 Eagles (loss)
Niners +3.5 Cards (win)
11-5
106-100-2
Win and I'm in the fantasy football playoffs - and a decision has to be made right now - Roethlisberger or Flacco? It's a weather motivated conundrum; if not for the weather in Cleveland I'd just say Ben. But I think I have the advantage with my matchup, and a fairly certain moderate game from Flacco may be worth passing up Ben's upside to avoid a TD free windswept evening. I haven't decided. I'm leaning Ben. Fortune favoring the brave and whatnot; generally, I avoid gripping about the weather. (edit - well, that was error)
First week without the burden of winning college games (19 over .500 the final total for the regular season, 5 over .500 in my weekly locks, and a contest win that will probably find its way into this week's Tendown) so now we're headed over .500 for good in the NFL.
(unrelated - Dear Brian, please sign Nick Johnson. Thank you.)
Steelers -10 Browns (loss)
Saints -9 Falcons (loss)
GB -3 Chicago (win)
NYJ -3 TB (win)
Jax -3 Miami (loss)
Ravens -13.5 Detroit (win)
Houston -6 Seattle (win)
Indy -7 Denver (win)
Buffalo over KC (win)
Vikes -6.5 Bengals (win)
NE -13.5 Panthers (loss)
Wash -1 Oakland (win)
Titans -13 Rams (win)
SD +3 Dallas (win)
NYG -1 Eagles (loss)
Niners +3.5 Cards (win)
11-5
106-100-2
More Fox Math
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
The best part, of course, is the content of the poll in which the numbers add up to 120%.
Keep hope alive, Fox! Don't let those...what do you call them...facts get in your way.
!st and Ten - The Weekly Tendown: Nov 29-Dec 5 2009
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Welcome to issue 4 of the Tendown, my Countdown of the very best things that happened in the culture this week; last week, I talked about Sam sending Diane a telegram on the last epsiode of Cheers 16 1/2 years ago, so I'm clearly trying to keep things current. Let me put my Bell Biv Devoe cassette in my boom box (I don't ever trust a big butt and a smile. Ronald Bivens is very wise) and start the Tendown!
1st....Kirk Hiner Hates Madonna
Not more than a couple years after Sam wrote that telegram, I began my fruitless internet writing career; one of my very first essays was entitled Kirk Hiner Hates Madonna, explaining (with benefit of an X/Y axis) that it wasn't jealousy or shadenfreude which leads to our sometimes seemingly outsized dislike of particular public figures, that instead it's the distance of the level of acclaim they receive from the level of acclaim we perceive they deserve. Kirk Hiner had a passionate dislike of Madonna twenty years ago; mentioning her in his presence would have brought forth a torrent of furious invective. Today, I'm guessing he views her the way all right thinking people do. As the finest, sexiest, most talented woman who ever lived.
Last night, the biggest roar during the SEC Championship game took place when the above screen capture was shown on the jumbo video board - the moment when Tim Tebow cried.
That roar was matched by the one coming from my house. And that's because Jim Jividen Hates Tim Tebow.
Scott Van Pelt and Michael Wilbon, in their separate ESPN platforms, considered the issue of the Tebow backlash this week; SVP (talented, but exposed in the daily radio format) concluded that the reason people (like me) dislike Tebow is because there's no reason to dislike him, and that drives people crazy; Wilbon (more talented and less exposed) with the PTI topic clock ticking, said if you meet Tebow for 30 seconds you can't help but love the guy and any other opinion is not worth considering.
They're wrong. I hate Tim Tebow because as opposed to looking at him as Chris Weinke or Gino Torretta or Tommie Frazier or Charlie Ward - the discussion about Tebow has been "is he the greatest college football player who ever lived" and is he the finest man alive?
A year ago, in the national title game that Florida won't be returning to, Fox play-by-play man Thom Brennaman not only said "if you're fortunate enough to spend five minutes or 20 minutes around Tim Tebow, your life is better for it," but followed that up by saying that a prior claim by an Oklahoma cornerback that Tebow would be the 4th best QB in the Big 12 was "probably the most ridiculous thing ever said," and that a subsequent unsportsmanlike conduct penalty given to Tebow was "the first thing he's ever done wrong." Last night, even as Florida was taking a terrific beating from the Crimson Tide (and more importantly for my purposes, was far away from covering that pretty clearly Tebow-inflated 5 1/2 pt spread) the game narrative focused on the guts and glory and heart and determination and all that's masculine and right about America in a Tim Tebow shaped box. With 11 minutes left and trailing by three scores, Gary Danielson noted that if Tebow could muster up the fortitude to bring his team back (Tebow had, after all, been giving his defense a stirring sideline speech not long before, and as the sports media decided a year ago, the power of his words alone can move men to greatness) he would be the slam dunk Heisman winner (my Heisman ballot (1) Ndamukong Suh (2) Toby Gerhart (3) Mark Ingram). The thrust and effect of the game story was entirely wrapped up in how it impacts Tebow, not unlike the way every Brett Favre game has been analyzed since 1998, and it always reminds me of a Kids in the Hall sketch in which Scott played a French whore, constantly rhapsodizing about an unseen man named Tony "wondering where he could be, who is he with, what is he thinking, is he thinking of me, and whether he'll ever return someday." I expect there will be a Florida Gator game next season where the announcer will approximate something along those lines and then shudder with orgasm.
The Sports Media Industrial Complex wants to remove from Tim Tebow the burden of his self-confessed virginity is my point. He's had a terrific career, probably isn't much of a pro prospect, and likes to talk about Jesus a whole lot; everything beyond that is excessive, and it's everything beyond that which is why his tears got cheers. Especially from my house.
After the jump - the Rest of the Best Things to Happen This Week.
1st....Kirk Hiner Hates Madonna
Not more than a couple years after Sam wrote that telegram, I began my fruitless internet writing career; one of my very first essays was entitled Kirk Hiner Hates Madonna, explaining (with benefit of an X/Y axis) that it wasn't jealousy or shadenfreude which leads to our sometimes seemingly outsized dislike of particular public figures, that instead it's the distance of the level of acclaim they receive from the level of acclaim we perceive they deserve. Kirk Hiner had a passionate dislike of Madonna twenty years ago; mentioning her in his presence would have brought forth a torrent of furious invective. Today, I'm guessing he views her the way all right thinking people do. As the finest, sexiest, most talented woman who ever lived.
Last night, the biggest roar during the SEC Championship game took place when the above screen capture was shown on the jumbo video board - the moment when Tim Tebow cried.
That roar was matched by the one coming from my house. And that's because Jim Jividen Hates Tim Tebow.
Scott Van Pelt and Michael Wilbon, in their separate ESPN platforms, considered the issue of the Tebow backlash this week; SVP (talented, but exposed in the daily radio format) concluded that the reason people (like me) dislike Tebow is because there's no reason to dislike him, and that drives people crazy; Wilbon (more talented and less exposed) with the PTI topic clock ticking, said if you meet Tebow for 30 seconds you can't help but love the guy and any other opinion is not worth considering.
They're wrong. I hate Tim Tebow because as opposed to looking at him as Chris Weinke or Gino Torretta or Tommie Frazier or Charlie Ward - the discussion about Tebow has been "is he the greatest college football player who ever lived" and is he the finest man alive?
A year ago, in the national title game that Florida won't be returning to, Fox play-by-play man Thom Brennaman not only said "if you're fortunate enough to spend five minutes or 20 minutes around Tim Tebow, your life is better for it," but followed that up by saying that a prior claim by an Oklahoma cornerback that Tebow would be the 4th best QB in the Big 12 was "probably the most ridiculous thing ever said," and that a subsequent unsportsmanlike conduct penalty given to Tebow was "the first thing he's ever done wrong." Last night, even as Florida was taking a terrific beating from the Crimson Tide (and more importantly for my purposes, was far away from covering that pretty clearly Tebow-inflated 5 1/2 pt spread) the game narrative focused on the guts and glory and heart and determination and all that's masculine and right about America in a Tim Tebow shaped box. With 11 minutes left and trailing by three scores, Gary Danielson noted that if Tebow could muster up the fortitude to bring his team back (Tebow had, after all, been giving his defense a stirring sideline speech not long before, and as the sports media decided a year ago, the power of his words alone can move men to greatness) he would be the slam dunk Heisman winner (my Heisman ballot (1) Ndamukong Suh (2) Toby Gerhart (3) Mark Ingram). The thrust and effect of the game story was entirely wrapped up in how it impacts Tebow, not unlike the way every Brett Favre game has been analyzed since 1998, and it always reminds me of a Kids in the Hall sketch in which Scott played a French whore, constantly rhapsodizing about an unseen man named Tony "wondering where he could be, who is he with, what is he thinking, is he thinking of me, and whether he'll ever return someday." I expect there will be a Florida Gator game next season where the announcer will approximate something along those lines and then shudder with orgasm.
The Sports Media Industrial Complex wants to remove from Tim Tebow the burden of his self-confessed virginity is my point. He's had a terrific career, probably isn't much of a pro prospect, and likes to talk about Jesus a whole lot; everything beyond that is excessive, and it's everything beyond that which is why his tears got cheers. Especially from my house.
After the jump - the Rest of the Best Things to Happen This Week.
And Not a Moment Too Soon - Week 14 College Football Picks
Thursday, December 3, 2009
73-55-2
9-4
Just a Weekly Five this week as we end the regular season. I will pick every bowl game.
Houston -2.5 ECarolina (loss)
West Virginia + 1.5 Rutgers (win)
Alabama +5.5 Florida (win)
UConn -7 SFlorida (loss)
Wisconsin -12.5 Hawaii (win)
Final Regular Season: 76-57-2
Final Locks: 9-4
You could do worse.
9-4
Just a Weekly Five this week as we end the regular season. I will pick every bowl game.
Houston -2.5 ECarolina (loss)
West Virginia + 1.5 Rutgers (win)
Alabama +5.5 Florida (win)
UConn -7 SFlorida (loss)
Wisconsin -12.5 Hawaii (win)
Final Regular Season: 76-57-2
Final Locks: 9-4
You could do worse.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)


