The last Star Wars I saw had Ewoks. So you can't go by me.
My understanding is the new Star Wars is essentially a remake of the first Star Wars (yeah, I don't know which episode that means; I'm a wrestling nerd, it's really all I can manage) with a girl in the Luke Skywalker slot.
There's criticism by some of the hardcores that she gets pushed too hard, right? That she's too good, does too well - that it erodes the credibility of the world given her lack of flaws.
Is that right? Is that a good reflection of some nature of the conversation, the truth of the matter asserted notwithstanding?
Roman Reigns = Rey (for the wrestling only reader, that's not Mysterio)
Roman Reigns is about to walk into a Royal Rumble with his title on the line, a Rumble which will be built around everyone trying to eliminate Reigns - and he's going to eliminate, let's say 10 people, he's going to last an hour, he will get the full Superman push, and then he'll get screwed by HHH in a way designed to make him sympathetic.
But because they've just thrown Reigns at us and told us he's the best guy, without his actually being the best guy, that story lacks credibility. That's why fans still boo Cena, even a decade+ later. Because he was Rey before Reigns was Rey. And, I'd argue, despite his being the most popular wrestler in the company over that decade+, he's been the most popular wrestler in a company that has consistently shed viewers. The story they told with Cena eroded the believability of the universe that they created and it peeled away a level of the emotional attachment that a portion of the fanbase had for the product. If it doesn't feel real, why watch?
Cena as the best wrestler in the promotion has never felt real, not for a day. Reigns faces a similar fate.
Here's the card.
1. IC: Last Man Standing: Dean Ambrose v. Kevin Owens
-When last we left,
at Survivor Series, Owens was IC champ. He lost that belt to Ambrose at the December show and they've continued their feud through here. It's good; WWE does a pretty terrible job differentiating characters or slots outside of Lesnar and Reigns, so they come off as largely interchangeable pieces.
Should be good, given the quality of the workers, although the Last Man stip can be a dud. Assuming it's the end of the program, Ambrose keeping makes sense. That would also allow the midcard foreign heel stable to be involved in a chase for the title. Owens winning leading to a Jericho program might make some sense.
20 min, 4 1/4 stars - Ambrose went over, ending the feud. Easily the best match on the show, filled with table breaking violence. The last man stip did slow things down.
2. US: Alberto del Rio v. Kalisto
-When last we left, del Rio was US Champ; he and Kalisto (whose elevation was a terrific benefit of an injury to his medicore tag partner) have subsequently switched this title between them and back again. Del Rio is part of the previously mentioned midcard heel stable filled with guys who are just fine but no better than that. Kalisto's exciting and spot based in a promotion that could use guys who do more spots. I assume del Rio keeps in a good match, but Kalisto's winning leading to a program with Finn Balor, called up from NXT to lead the group coming in from New Japan would be better.
11:30, 3 stars, Kalisto took and this feud may continue. It was in the same vein as their prior matches.
3. Tags: New Day v. Usos
-New Day's had the belts since summer; they get a significant chunk of mic time each week to entertain people who are not me. My expectation is they keep the belts in a good enough match.
11 min, 2 1/2 stars, New Day keeps. It's what it is.
4. Women: Charlotte v. Becky
-This is most likely a switch in an okay match; Flair got baited into accepting Becky's challenge to Charlotte's title and that probably pays off with Becky's winning the belt.
11:30, 2 3/4 stars - it did not pay off that way, Charlotte kept with her dad's interference and Becky was moved aside postmatch in favor of Sasha.
Rumble Match
-Hunter wins the title, screwing Reigns out of the belt to lead to the Mania main event that will be 12 minutes too long and way, way too slow. I'd do almost anything else.
3 1/2 stars - and that's what happened.
-Somehow, Brock gets eliminated in a way that builds to Mania. Bray makes sense, I guess, and Brock has to work his way through the entire Wyatt Family to eventually beat Bray at Mania. That's fine; anything Brock does will be good, but also wouldn't be my choice.
-And that's what happened.
-We may see the debut of AJ Styles, which would be the most exciting thing that will happen on Sunday absent a theoretical Daniel Bryan return. Many WWE fans have no idea who Styles is - and I am flat telling you if he came in cold, with zero build, and he and Reigns were the final two, the fans would not be cheering for the babyface Superman champion.
-They did this faceoff in the beginning of the match, AJ Styles one on one against Roman Reigns, and the reaction was as predicted. Reigns is so cold they needed to have him out of the match for half an hour to keep the fans from booing all match long. He's still winning the main event of WM.
Reigns v. HHH in the main event of Wrestlemania. This is not for me.
This is a wrestling promotion employing Bryan, Zayn, Balor, Joe, Cesaro, Itami, and presumably Nakamura. None of them likely to appear Sunday. Don't listen to anyone who says with Cena and Orton out that WWE has a talent problem. WWE has a storytelling problem. WWE has a problem identifying which should be the star characters and who should be the supporting characters. Wrestlemania could be...
AJ vs. Joe
Brock vs. Nakamura
Owens vs. Zayn
Balor vs. Neville
Zayn worked the Rumble and eliminated Owens. They might do that match, in fact.
And that's assuming injuries to Bryan, Itami, Cesaro. It could be the greatest WWE card of all time. Instead, it will be Reigns and Hunter for 30 minutes on top. That's a choice. Not a circumstance.
Here's every Rumble match in history ranked.
1. ’03 WWF Title: Kurt Angle d. Chris Benoit 20 min 5
2. '15 WWF Title: Brock Lesnar d. Seth Rollins/John Cena 23 min 4 1/2
3. ’00 WWF Title HHH d. Cactus Jack 27 min 4 ¼
4. ’01 IC Ladder: Chris Jericho d. Chris Benoit 19 min 4 ¼
6. ’04 Rumble Match: (Chris Benoit) 61:30 4
6. ’92 WWF Title: Rumble Match (Ric Flair) 62 min 4
7. '14 Bray Wyatt d. Daniel Bryan 22 min 4
8. ’91 Rockers d. Orient Express 19 min 4
9. ’95 WWF Title: Diesel draw Bret Hart 27 min 4
10. ’10 Rumble Match (Edge) 49:30 3 ¾
11. ’00 Tables Hardys d. Dudleys 10:30 3 ¾
12. ’94 Tags: Quebecers d. Bret/Owen 16:30 3 ¾
13. ’04 WWF Title: HHH draw HBK 22:30 3 ¾
14. ’11 World: Edge d. Dolph Ziggler 20:30 3 ½
15. ’02 WWF Title: Chris Jericho d. Rock 19 min 3 ½
16. ’98 WWF Title: Casket Match: Shawn Michaels d. Undertaker 22 min 3 ½
17. ’07 WWF Title: Last Man Standing: John Cena d. Umaga 22:30 3 ½
18. ’99 WWF Title: I Quit Match: Rock d. Mankind 22 min 3 ½
19. ’93 WWF Title: Bret Hart d. Razor Ramon 18 min 3 ½
20. ’11 Rumble Match (Alberto del Rio) 69 min 3 ½
21. ’90 Rumble Match (Hulk Hogan) 59 min 3 ½
22. ’97 Rumble Match(Steve Austin) 50:30 3 ½
23. ’01 WWF Title: Kurt Angle d. HHH 24:30 3 ¼
24. ’13 WWF Title: Rock d. CM Punk 23:30 3 ¼
25. ’93 IC Shawn Michaels d. Marty Jannetty 14:30 3 ¼
26. ’05 Edge d. Shawn Michaels 18:30 3 ¼
27. ’09 WWF Title: Edge d. Jeff Hardy 19:30 3 ¼
28. ’12 Rumble Match (Sheamus) 55 min 3 ¼
29. ’05 Rumble Match (Batista) 51:30 3 ¼
30. ’03 Rumble Match(Brock Lesnar) 53:30 3 ¼
31. ’00 Rumble Match(Rock) 52 min 3 ¼
32. ’01 Rumble Match(Steve Austin) 62 min 3 ¼
33. ’06 Rumble Match (Rey Mysterio) 62 min 3 ¼
34. ’07 Rumble Match (Undertaker) 56:30 3 ¼
35. ’89 Rumble Match(John Studd) 64 min 3 ¼
36. ’98 Rumble Match (Steve Austin) 55:30 3 ¼
37. ’08 Rumble Match (John Cena) 51:30 3 ¼
38. '14 WWF Title: Randy Orton d. John Cena 21 min 3 1/4
39. ’10 World: Undertaker d. Rey Mysterio 11 min 3 ¼
40. ’11 WWF: Miz d. Randy Orton 20 min 3 ¼
41. ’05 World: HHH d. Randy Orton 21:30 3 ¼
42. ’07 Hardys d. MNM 15:30 3 ¼
43. ’12 WWF Title: CM Punk d. Dolph Ziggler 14 min 3
44. ’01 Tags: Dudleys d. Edge/Christian 10 min 3
45. ’08 WWF Title: Randy Orton d. Jeff Hardy 14 min 3
46. ’92 Owen/Anvil d. Orient Express 17 min 3
47. ’95 Tags: Bob Holly/123 Kid d. Tatanka/Bam Bam Bigelow 15:30 3
48. ’02 Rumble Match(HHH) 69:30 3
49. ’94 Rumble Match: (Bret/Lex) 55 min 3
50. ’93 Rumble Match: (Yokozuna) 66:30 3
51. ’91 Rumble Match (Hulk Hogan) 65 min 3
52. ’96 Rumble Match(Shawn Michaels) 59 min 3
53. ’99 Rumble Match (Vince McMahon) 56:30 3
54. ’95 Rumble Match (Shawn Michaels) 39 min 3
55. ’09 Rumble Match (Randy Orton) 58:30 3
56. '14 Rumble Match (Batista) 55 min 3
57. ’13 Rumble Match (John Cena) 55 min 3
58. '15 Rumble Match (Reigns) 59 min 3
59. ’88 Rumble Match (Jim Duggan) 33:30 3
60. ’02 IC: William Regal d. Edge 10 min 3
61. ’04 Eddy Guerrero d. Chavo Guerrero 8 min 3
62. ’13 World: Last Man Standing: Alberto del Rio d. Big Show 17 min 3
63. ’09 ECW: Jack Swagger d. Matt Hardy 10:30 3
64. ’96 Tags: Smoking Gunns d. Bodydonnas 11 min 3
65. ’03 Tags: Dudleys d. Regal/Storm 7:30 3
66. ’97 WWF Title: Shawn Michaels d. Sid 14 min 3
67. ’89 Haku d. Harley Race 9 min 3
68. ’97 IC: HHH d. Goldust 17 min 3
69. ’06 Jr.: Gregory Helms d. Kash, Funaki, Noble, Nunzio, London 7:30
70. ’88 Jumping Bomb Angels d. Glamour Girls 14 min
71. ’89 Hart Foundation/Duggan d. Dino Bravo/Rougeaus 16 min
72. ’96 WWF Title: Undertaker d. Bret Hart 29 min
73. ’08 World: Edge d. Rey Mysterio 12:30
74. ’88 Ricky Steamboat d. Rick Rude 17 min
75. ’00 Taz d. Kurt Angle 3 min
76. ’02 Ric Flair d. Vince McMahon 15 min
77. ’98 IC Rock d. Shamrock 11 min
78. ’05 WWF Title: JBL d. Big Show/Kurt Angle 12 min
79. ’06 WWF Title: John Cena d. Edge 14
80. ’97 Vader d. Undertaker 13 min
81. ’13 Tags: Hell No d. Rhodes Scholars 9:30
82. ’93 Steiners d. Beverlys 10:30
83. ’07 World: Batista d. Ken Kennedy 10:30
84. ’90 Ronny Garvin d. Greg Valentine 17 min
85. ’10 ECW: Christian d. Ezekial Jackson 12 min
86. ’88 Islanders d. Young Stallions 14 min
87. ’02 Tags: Taz/Spike Dudley d. Dudleys 5 min
88. ’12 World: Cage: Daniel Bryan d. Big Show/Mark Henry
89. ’00 IC: Chris Jericho d. Chyna d. Bob Holly 7:30
90. ’08 JBL d. Chris Jericho 9:30
91. ’10 US: Miz d. MVP 7:30
92. ’97 Garza/Aguayo/Canek d. Estrada/Metal/.Guerrera 11 min
93. ’04 WWF Title: Brock Lesnar d. Bob Holly 6:30
94. '15 Tags: Usos d. Miz/Mizdow 9:30
95. ’03 Brock Lesnar d. Big Show 6 min
96. ’99 Euro: Sean Waltman d. Gangrel 6 min
97. ’98 Vader d. Goldust 8 min
98. ’95 IC Jeff Jarrett d. Razor Ramon 18 min
99. ’99 IC: Ken Shamrock d. Billy Gunn 14:30
100. ’04 Jr. Rey Mysterio d. Jamie Noble 3:30
101. ’91 Boss Man d. Barbarian 14 min
102 '14 Brock Lesnar d. Big Show 2 min
103. ’92 IC: Roddy Piper d. Mountie 5:30
104. ’08 Ric Flair d. MVP 8 min
105. ’98 Mini/Mosaic/Nova d. Battalion/Torito/Tarantula 8 min
106. ’97 Ahmed Johnson d. Farooq 9 min
107. ’96 Ahmed Johnson d. Jeff Jarrett 6:30
108. ’10 WWF: Sheamus d. Randy Orton 12:30
109. ’07 ECW: Bobby Lashley d. Test 7:30
110. ’04 Tags: Evolution d. Dudleys 4:30
111. ’03 World Title: Scott Steiner d. HHH 18:30
112. ’09 World John Cena d. JBL 15:30
113. ’99 Boss Man d. Road Dogg 12 min
114. ’90 Hacksaw Duggan d. Big Boss Man 10:30
115. ’91 Ted DiBiase/Virgil d. Dusty/Dustin 10 min
116. ’00 Tags: New Age Outlaws d. Acolytes 2:30
117. ’94 Tatanka d. Bam Bam Bigelow 8
118. ’94 IC: Razor Ramon d. IRS 11:30
119. ’96 IC: Goldust d. Razor 14:30
120. ’89 Rockin Robin d. Judy Martin 6:30
121. ’11 Women: Eve d. Natalya/Layla/Michelle McCool 5 min
122. '15 Bellas d. Page/Natty 8 min
123. ’12 Bellas/Beth/Natalya d. Kelly/Eve/Alicia/Tamina 5:30
124. ’02 Women: Trish d. Jazz 4 min
125. ’09 Women: Melina d. Beth Phoenix 6:30
126. ’92 Tags: Natural Disasters d. LOD 9:30
127. ’98 Tags: LOD d. New Age Outlaws 8 min
128. ’91 Mountie d. Koko 9
129. ’05 Casket: Undertaker d. Heidenreich 13:30
130. ’91 WWF Title: Sgt. Slaughter d. Ultimate Warrior 12:30
131. ’06 World: Kurt Angle d. Mark Henry 9:30
132. ’93 Bam Bam Bigelow d. Big Boss Man 10 min
133. ’95 Undertaker d. IRS 12:30
134. '15 Ascension d. New Age Outlaws 5:30
135. ’01 Women: Ivory d. Chyna 3:30
136. ’99 Women: Sable d. Luna 4:30
137. ’12 Brodus Clay d. Drew McIntyre 1 min
138. ’06 Boogeyman d. JBL 2 min
139. ’90 Bushwackers d. Rougeaus 13:30
140. ’12 John Cena draw Kane 11
141. ’90 Brutus Beefcake draw Lanny Poffo 11 min
142. ’92 Beverlys d. Bushwackers 15 min
143. ’10 Women: Mickie James d. Michelle McCool :30
144. ’03 Torrie Wilson d. Dawn Marie 3:30
145. ’06 Women: Mickey James d. Ashley 7:30
146. ’94 WWF Title: Yokozuna d. Undertaker 14:30
